Spice, I can appreciate your inquisitiveness. I think it's great to ask lots of questions. There are just so many answers sometimes.
My son called me on Mother's Day, which was a real blessing. (He hadn't remembered, or thought enough to do so in a few years.) Because we had not really been connecting that much, there was just so much in my heart that I had been wanting to share. We had lived through a terrible nightmare, got through it, and then were off in our own directions.
This time, we talked for nearly two hours! I was an active JW until he was about five, and then by the time he was fourteen, I had finally gotten myself out. He was able to express to me that he never believed the JW thing. He only did it to make me happy. He said that he never once considered them to be anything but a cult.
However, he is deep into christianity, and is really very gung ho on Jesus Christ. The good thing is, he got to express his feelings and so did I. We didn't judge each other. He's quite a young man and I'm proud of him, although I do not believe the way he does. He totally feels the bible is inspired and speaks of it in almost a magical way. He believes totally that Jesus was "god" who came to earth in human form.
It was rather strange, as we talked, how I remember feeling so much the way he does now, at a time in my life. It all seems so foreign to me now. I don't believe the bible is anything other than a christian history book of sorts. I believe that Jesus was an enlightened, very spiritual individual. Aside from that, I don't view anything about this world or the universe in black or white, religious tones.
I think it's wonderful to be able to honor someone else as they make their soul's journey. As JamesT recently told me, it is indeed the "dark night of the soul", and a very painful process. But, we owe it to ourselves to make the journey in this lifetime. It is almost as if we do die. Old cognitions and perceptions fall away from us and we can clearly see the reality. It is if we are wiped clean of all the contamination and our heart can truly guide us to where we need to be. This is how we grow, how we learn, gain knowledge and develope wisdom. It is not automatically given to us on a platter. I commend you for your push to understand and grow.
