Are you angry at the people who ignored your abuse?

by purrpurr 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • purrpurr

    Following on from my privous thread about being beaten. (Which seems to have got the most horrendous stories now, I'm so sorry to all those who suffered in that manner). I'd like to ask when you think about all those people, jw's, family members etc who knew that you were being beaten/abused and did nothing to stop it are you angry with them about it?

    Ultimately they were your abusers enablers, they made it possible for you to abused. When I think back to my childhood if anyone had taken my mother aside in the early days and told her off for abusing me that might have saved me a lifetime of abuse

    For me it's no use saying "oh well that was in the past etc" these people who stood by and did nothing are to my mind as gulity as my mother of the abuse I suffered. Everyone in my Cong knew the hell I went through, sometimes my mother would even boast about it to the other sisters! Yet it was ignored and brushed under the carpet.

  • Gulf Coaster
    Gulf Coaster

    Since it was the 70's, "spanking" was still an appropriate parenting strategy with most so I can't get angry at society for not stepping in. Besides, our abuse happened in the privacy of our home, so I doubt anyone knew.

    Maybe some neighbors wondered what the screaming and yelling was about, I'll never know. My dad worked long hours and I don't remember him being home when my mother was in full psycho mode. I used to excuse myself from gym class sometimes when the bruises were fresh and especially noticeable, out of embarrassment. I doubt even the gym teachers would have done anything back then.

    Since I was so terrorized by my mother, I doubt I'd have had the courage to complain to anyone anyway. Guaranteed she'd have punished me for that.

    She feels so righteous about her method of "parenting". Like I mentioned before, when I brought up her harsh methods, she wasn't apologetic at all, nor did she try to whitewash it. She was immensely proud of herself. Lost cause. Which is why she is still a JW and will die one. That harsh, hateful cult suits her to a tee. And it's why I was miserable in it and escaped as soon as I could.

  • talesin

    No. I had 2 uncles and 1 aunt come to me in later years (not JW and now passed), and say they knew my mother was psycho and treated me very badly. But back in the 60s and early 70s, people *owned* their children, and little was done to extricate them from abusive homes. Though I never complained (too afraid of my parents) I also learned that 2 of my teachers tried to get me help, but there was none to be had. They are both retired, and haven't been able to find and thank those teachers. xo

  • blondie

    No hate....but I learned to protect myself and my siblings. My parents were cowards and I was a scary kid...I had access to knives and guns at home. I also learned it helped to have family and neighbors around because they were afraid to be abusive when someone else was around. I loved company.

    I did confront them as an adult and told them to stay away from me. I had friends in law enforcement who would stop by from time to time to make sure they did stay away. But they are both dead now. I work with a charity that protects abused children.

  • sparky1

    "I work with a charity that protects abused children." - Blondie

    Good for you! You have taken brutal and cruel personal life experiences and produced kindness and love for others. Thanks for showing us that it is possible to 'turn tragedy into triumph'.

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