A question for mothers...

by Bob Loblaw 5 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Bob Loblaw
    Bob Loblaw

    A human being, your child, was conceived, grew in you, and on one special day you delivered your child into this world. A truly miraculous thing in and of itself.

    When you were a JW, although forbidden to celebrate evil birthdays (sarcasm), did your heart ever ache contrary to Watchtower teaching and want to shower your child with love and thankfulness?

    I would think that if a religion were to believe in God, then their doctrine should have God somehow responsible for the act of procreation, birth, love, etc. I would think that God should be happy about your day of birth and in some form or another responsible for it. If what God has deemed to be good, then why deem the celebration of the reoccurrence of that date to equate evil? A mother and father automatically love and celebrate a child being born, so what is so demonic about remembering that day year after year and being so thankful for your child? Why demonize a word that embody's the love of God? Birthday=Love

    As a father, celebrating my children's birthdays is all about love. I love my kids so much and I will never forget the day they were born. On that day you can bet that I'm going to kiss them and hug them and tell them about their birth and give them gifts and have fun.

    In contrast, my mother, still in, has not acknowledged the day I was born in decades or ever for that matter. Not a text, not a call, nothing. As thick as the JW mind and thought control is, do mothers still in yearn to give their child love and attention on that day even though the Watchtower says not to?

    Anyways, on a side note, I think a persons Birthday is a very special thing and for all those ex JW's out there who don't get Birthday wishes from loved ones, I feel your pain, you are far from alone, and whether today is your Birthday or not, Happy Birthday!

  • Cangie

    Happy Birthday to you too, Bob! I am a mother of 2 and a grandmother of 2 little granddaughters. I am also a born-in, and recognize how the lack of recognition we grew up with has contributed to a lifetime of issues with self-worth, feelings of inadequacy, no inclination to trust my feelings and judgements, and generally no self-love. I have spent many years (at least 15 since I stopped being a JW) in patching myself together, with the result that I am comfortable with who I am today.

    The constant JW admonitions that we were "good-for-nothing slaves" who could not even trust our own hearts and who never were good enough or did enough for a constantly demanding God, did a number on most of us. That is why today I am a strong cheerleader of the value of each and every member of my family. I make sure that their birthdays are remembered, to give them the recognition that every person deserves of how special they are. I keep a list of the dates so I can send cards, gifts and contact them by phone with words of love. To me, everyone should be made to feel special on their day.

  • PaintedToeNail
    Bob, I always wanted to celebrate my kids birthdays, especially when they were babies. Turning one and smashing cake with a little fist, face covered in chocolate-that is only a dream memory for me. I let my fear of man, JWs, prevent me from celebrating my kids first birthdays. But, I always kissed their little heads and told them how happy I was that they were born on that day. Now, my youngest is 8. The past birthday saw a secret celebration, including wrapped presents. She was so very thankful and happy that her special day was celebrated by her mom, sister and brother...only dad was missing...his loss.
  • Lost his mind
    Lost his mind

    I have to say, my husband got a "note" from his sister saying she was so glad he was born, on the date that he was born! Is that not a birthday wish? But please do not celebrate. Really. What is the difference?

    Celebrate the love that you have. Children are a most wonderful gift.

  • jhine
    I've never got the reasoning that JWs give for not celebrating birthdays . lt seems clear that this is another way in which they isolate members from those horrid people of Christendom . Another way in which they can feel " superior "
  • zeb

    "shower your child with love "

    I remember being told from the platform that it is to spoil a child ( a baby) by attending to it every time it cries.

    An elder later denied flat that such was ever said.

    "That was never said brother".

    "Oh yes it was!" i replied and caused a hush over the cong.

Share this