If you give a present, Jehovah will kill you.

by schnell 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • schnell
    • If you tell someone "Merry Christmas" or simply respond with "You too", then God is angry with you and you will answer for every such violation at your day of judgment.
    • If you eat some leftover birthday cake and a thin-skinned Witness sees you and gets offended even though there's nothing wrong with the cake itself, you have become a stumbling block and God wants you to fix it before Judgment Day or else.
    • If you watch a cartoon featuring characters that may or may not be hilariously gay, it turns out that it does matter because this is an affront to God and he will judge all those who entertain such cartoons.

    There are a lot of implications about God that Jehovah's witnesses seem to make but never consider. The problem is that they don't follow it all the way through. In keeping themselves in God's love, and considering how they think he feels about matters in their daily lives, they submit to what is basically an ecclesiastical opinion that has terrible implications about God's character. Here are some more:

    • If you watch a movie about Hercules, you have entertained false gods and enraged Jehovah's jealousy.
    • If you watch a movie about Snow White and the Great Tribulation immediately hits, you have entertained magic and witchcraft and if you then die during the Great Tribulation, you will be resurrected to judgment and cast into the lake of fire in the second death. And you will die, because God will make sure of it so as to keep his people pure.
    • If you watch a movie where magic is called magic, God is enraged. If you watch a movie where magic is called something different and you're cool with it and nobody's stumbled, then God's cool with it too until someone is stumbled or brings it to his/your attention.

    If you spend your life worrying about all this crap, you will waste it. You don't have to. Consider the implications of your beliefs. Ask yourself why you believe such things, and be honest. Is this really necessary? Is it constructive? Is it conducive to creativity? Is it realistic? Can you say it with a straight face?

    Oh, and...

    • The origins of every single thing matter because God was there to see it and he'll hold you to it whether you know or care or not.
  • jambon1

    Jehovah is an awfully precious wee soul. And boaby daft as well. Loves a rule or two about people's genitalia. Quite the little pervert actually.

    If you had a mate that acted like that you'd have dumped him a looooong time ago.

  • blondie

    One of my favorite phrases in regards to jws

    Strain out the gnat but gulp down the camel

    In the bible Jesus applied that to the Pharisees, Sadducees, scribes the same people he sent to Gehenna as a group

  • scratchme1010

    Jehovah is an awfully precious wee soul. And boaby daft as well. Loves a rule or two about people's genitalia. Quite the little pervert actually.

    Not to mention his childish outbursts and mood swings. For real, any human being acting the way schnell describes will be in a psychiatric ward, yet "Jehovah" is supposed to be praised, worshiped and feared for it.

  • David_Jay

    One of the things I am still confused over (even though I've heard the reasons) is that I still cannot fathom how the Jewish concepts of God became this "worry" and "fear" and "be concerned about your eternal life instead of the present" that it has become for others like Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Jews are taught to question God as did Abraham. Wrestle with God as did Jacob (Israel). Plead your case with God as did Job. Argue to change God's mind about things as did Moses. And we live in the now, not tomorrow.

    It's like these things don't mean anything to Jehovah's Witnesses. Aren't these examples from the "Old Testament" supposed to be imitated and followed? Weren't these men the most righteous among the Patriarchs and Job among the Gentiles? There's no fear in questioning, pleading, debating, and wrestling God. That is what real faithfulness is.

    What a petty golden calf "Jehovah" of the Watchtower is. You sing "Jingle Bells," you get disfellowshipped, and then you are slaughtered by their idea of God for being disfellowshipped. Oy vey! Gentiles!


    If you give a present, Jehovah will kill you.

    Not if you're at WatchTower Headquarters in 1926..


  • sir82

    Oh, and eating turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Very bad. Jehovah will smite you for that one too.

  • David_Jay


    No. I think you're wrong. All those people in that picture celebrating Christmas--they're dead now. See? Schnell was right!

    Joseph Franklin Rutherford, also known as "Judge" Rutherford, was the second president of the incorporated Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.....Wikipedea
    He`s the Drunk/Criminal who Stole the JW`s Christmas.....................................................................
    Never Let a Drunk Make Decisions For You...They Always Make Bad Choices..
    Image result for watchtower rutherfordImage result for watchtower rutherford

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