But I dont want to lose all my friends and family. I want to still go to the parties and gatherings and keep being able to talk to them all,
That's what you want, but it may not be what they want - they may want to go to gatherings with people who really believe it ... or not, who knows?
Also I like going to meetings and going to ministry groups, although I dont really do a lot of ministry, usualy say going on 'calls' or park witnessing or if do first call only do a little and then end up having coffee or something.
What you are doing is mistaking some form of companionship with true friendship. It's because they are the only contacts you have and you've been taught that they are the only ones you should have, need, and can have.
If you say what you believe and these people drop you so you don't have the gatherings and the coffee mornings, are they really your friends?
Why not invest some time and effort into making friends outside of this limited circle who enjoy your company for who you are, not simply because you wear the same badge (until you take it off) ?
You like the 'social' aspect but you don't really believe it. You can keep it, you just need to go through the motions for the rest of your life. They are becoming more of a lifestyle religion so that may become easier, but there's always the risk that something will make you not want to keep up the charade.
Religion is like work. You may be happy in your job, you may never think you'll leave. But you don't know what the future holds. Even the best, most dedicated employee should keep their resume updated and an eye to the future and not be blind to possible alternatives. At least have some contacts outside of the company in case you need to change careers.
Make some friends that are not witnesses and you might realize that what you imagined were friends weren't really that at all.