I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

by scared and lonely 161 Replies latest jw experiences

  • scared and lonely
    scared and lonely


    Thanks. You are right.

    I hope that your journey ends well and you manage to escape relatively sane lol

    It's a tough journey.

  • TheListener

    What do they call the Watchtower conductor now?

    S&L - hang in there and take it day by day. I don't know your situation really well but I think first thing is try not to get disfellowshipped and don't DA yourself. That way you won't be asked to leave the family house or if you are asked maybe it will buy you some time first. Then work on getting a job that doesn't depend on the witnesses. It may not pay much but with public assistance you should be just about able to make ends meet. Then try to get some training so that you can get a better job. through all of this you should be meeting people who may become your friends.

    This stuff takes time. Best of luck.

  • The Scotsman
    The Scotsman

    Hi scared and lonely.

    When I left (faded) it was by far the most difficult time in my life - put a strain on my marriage for a while.
    (I was an elder - and the full Elder to fade took a while, a lot of planning and a house move to achieve it!)

    Family kept there distance for a while, my wife kept going to meetings (only for 6 months then followed me out :))
    I lost all of my JW friends.
    There is no doubt that the transition from being "in" to being "out" is very difficult............. but.......!

    I am so proud of myself for doing it - and you know why? Because it was the right thing to do - on every level.
    As time went on I found a new mindset / a new world view / a new excitement for life in this world.
    I also found new friends....... in time.

    There are no quick and easy answers for this - be confident and proud of your decision and prove to those still in that you made the correct decision by living a happy and full life.

    Oh - and be patient - new friends will come with time. You may feel alone and desperate, we fully understand, but hang in there.... it will work out in the end - we leavers are the proof....


    OH - and ignore the idiots on this forum who have been less than helpful, clearly have no idea what your situation is...

  • NeverKnew

    From the outside distrust is just embedded into the JW mindset. Over time that may change.

    Scared and lonely, as a non and never have been JW, my recommendation to you is to stay grounded in what your goals are. Someone else's inability or apprehension to trust you IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Do not add to your existing challenges by making their problems yours. And STOP apologizing.

    "I'm hurting." .... "you're a liar AND a troll!" It's like I'm watching Trump in a debate.

    Personally, I don't need protection from the self appointed Troll Police Force and I'd be glad to make myself available to help you understand the general mindset of non-JWs from my perspective.

    Let me know how or if I can help you.

  • WingCommander

    You come on here as an ex-Elder, and expect sympathy from the very people you've spiritually abused for god only knows how many years? Good luck with that sh*t!

    Honestly, that whole whiny, begging for money on the first page is what instantly put me off about you. We've got Stephen Lett and the GB putting up videos on JW Broadcasting begging for more of our relatives and friends money, fleecing them of their hard-earned (because of being denied an education from these same bastards!), savings, any retirement or inheritance, etc.......and now YOU want some too????

    I can tell you flat out that not only are people on here sick of having JW's lurch around like moochers, but so are many JW's still in. Damn tired of being told to support local do-gooders who only want to Pioneer and live off the working class JW's all the while looking down their noses at them. Tired of rubber-faced clowns like Lett and crew getting up on JW Broadcasting wearing Rolex's and gold pinky rings in Brooks Brothers suits, trying to guilt and shake everyone down, meanwhile they are making BILLIONS off of clever real estate and hedge fund maneuvering. And for damn sure tired of people looking for the free hand out. Listen up pal, everyone on here has already been used up by the JW cult. We call it as we see it, use critical thinking skills, question everything and everyone, and aren't going to up and "OBEY" like you are used to everyone doing.

    Life's a b*tch, and just think, you probably have a Judicial Committee to look forward to yet. Come talk to us after that. Better yet, record it and let us hear you tell your local band of window washers were to shove their imaginary "authority". Then, you'll have earned some respect.

  • ILoveTTATT2

    The vitriol coming out of some people...

    I would have been EXACTLY in the same position as him, the only difference is, that I had

    1) an engineering degree - my parents were very liberal regarding that, they would NOT let their son NOT have a degree.

    2) relatives that just happened to live in the same city where I was.

    When I was DF'd, I had a job and a place to stay. But imagine I hadn't... or had a job with witnesses, or didn't have a career, didn't have relatives in my city that I could stay with.

    I never became an elder, but if I had become one... I would have been like this person. A man-child who was 25 and never had left home.

    Yet now I am living on my own, have an amazing job, I have new friends... I live 5 blocks from the beach in sunny Mexico...

    My life has gotten infinitely better after leaving the witnesses.

    But at the moment when I was about to be DF'd, I was scared sh!tless.

  • DesirousOfChange

    S&L, at this point you simply must convince some UK members via PM that you are "real" and you will be exonerated and seen only as a immature, naive JW instead of a con-artist. Of course, if you fail to do so, it will be perceived that another con-artist troll was outted.

    The ball is in your court.

    Your story reminded me of a man-child Elder in one of our past congregations that is still living with his parents and is now over 40 years old. He'd never make it on his own in the real world and he won't have to as long as he can reply on his parents (who feel good helping to support the Elder-Pioneer) and can "glean" off of other JWs. If he actually ever discovered TTATT, he'd be a fool to change anything and destroy the network of support he has to survive.

    I think most here will gladly give you enough rope......... and wait to see what happens.


  • BluesBrother

    First off, asking for finance is a bad idea _ bound to offend.

    Let's forget that and talk. I too was a current elder who resigned due to honest and open doubts . The body did not scream "apostate", in fact they wanted me to stay . They seemed happy with a doubting WT Conductor . I am in the UK.

    Now, do not d/a... they cannot force you and should not try. Sit tight, stonewall and ask " spiritual help". The Bible says to assist those with doubts

    Hang in there , be cool,a slow fade is possible.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    S&L, you spend too much time replying to negative posts. You will get these until you confirm, who you are. You can do this with the old timers we have already named above. Please do so, it will make your life much easier on this site.
  • scared and lonely
    scared and lonely


    It sounds like you had a really rough deal and have been hurt really badly by the JW's I imagine you were shaking really badly when you were typing that.

    I hope you have somebody to talk to or are getting therapy for all that hatred.

    I read your story in your profile. It seems that after all this time you are still not over it.

    I was born into the witnesses and knew nothing else. Did you voluntarily get involved with them as an adult?

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