Leaving the JW's is like a game of Poker....

by Turquoisepeace 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Turquoisepeace

    Leaving the Religion can be likened to a game of Poker. Many possible scenarios can be played out during the game and the potential loss or gains are many:

    You have put too many chips in, every round it just seems you will win it all in the end. Your chips are dwindling, you look down at your colored stacks and they are getting smaller and smaller, you wont be in the game for long, so hopefully this next card will get you there. But then you get a "bad feeling" and you think you might fold, but only for a second...

    ...Then you think of the "reality of this choice"

    IF you fold you will lose all those chips you have sacrificed to the pot and the chips you have left are few...."family", “years of life" and “friends" who will support you. More than likely you will lose the rest of these chips as well. Is it worth folding?

    Are you too "Pot Committed"? Have you put too much "Time" "Years" and have too much "family and friends" in the religion to fold? Too many chips in the pot, not enough left by your side after you fold the hand? Are you going to leave all your chips in and see how the hand plays out in the end even if something doesn't feel right? Perhaps going "All in". Or fold and decide to cut your losses even though it hurts and play another game, one without so much to lose?

    Some have fewer chips in the pot, and so they have more to fall back on with more to hold on to for the future. For these, folding is easier, less risky, less painful. Maybe use your chips on another hand, one that feels right, or doesn't run the risk of you losing "everything" you have.

    Folding could anger you, after all, you have stayed in this game SO long, waiting for that pot to be yours in the end of that game of chance. But what IF the hand you have is a losing one, in fact only the dealer(GB) wins, and takes all the players chips and you are left with nothing. You have given everything, all your chips(good years) to this game. But maybe there is another game with potential for winning, and the risks are much less, in fact, not burdensome, even light and not weighing you down.

    Choose wisely, weigh the risks, and the losses. Some will stay in because they are too "Pot Committed" and wait it out, too much to lose if leaving now. Others will “Fold” and take with them whoever and whatever they have left and be free of the Fear of "what happens now, or in the future".

    That's the "Game of Chance"

    But it is after all, YOUR choice

  • talesin

    I think it's a great analogy, but then, I've been playing poker for fifty years (just realized, wow, I am OLD). As kids, we played 5 card stud and blackjack (21) using toothpicks for chips. Parents let us play 'for fun'. But I digress. Back on topic ...

    The odds against the house (GB) winning in *this* game were too great, so I opted out of the hand. Know you're opponent and remember that poker is a head game. x tal


    * and yes, the odds in 21 are poor, stick to draw and stud : P

  • Mandrake

    I think that witnesses use too much "illustrations"... I found yours in this case a good one... But life is different, you don't Win or Lose... You just experience things, I believe that every experience good or bad (being inside the "Brooklyn cult") is a lesson... I'm thankful of life, even being a born-in...

    Sometimes I found myself trying to break the old habit Of relying too much on "illustrations" to make my points in conversations...

  • talesin

    I saw it more as an analogy for life. The first hand we're dealt, is the JW. The longer we stay in the hand, the smaller our stake gets.

    Yeah, I folded that hand, but I still had most of my stake to play with. Life is a gamble, and you have to weigh the odds, then make your choices.

    I'm a fairly conservative card player, so I got along in life. I'm not an 'all-in' kinda person, so choices have kept life on a mostly even keel. : )

    Edit:  Mandrake, I do agree.  The JWS use a lot of them, and often they don't really apply or carry through.  I haven't thought of that in years.  The org always does it in a preachy way, defining each component and outcome with their special twisted logic.  I like this analogy because it's been well presented, and interactive -- we can each tailor it to our own choices and experience.  x 

  • rebelfighter

    Great OP, never a JW but all of life is a poker game. I myself I would say I have been a high stakes player but I fight the fights that most other people just walk away from. I will do the research find the loopholes, laws or whatever it takes to get what it takes to make it happen and win at the game.

    Talesin, is correct life is a gamble and it is how you play the game. I was forced to short sale my last home which was devalued during the recession by an unbelievable amount. Same as a lot of folks. Both the bank and I lost a huge amount of money. Well everyone banks, realtors, finance people, creditors all told me lady you cannot buy anything for three years that is it!! Not this Rebel or Fighter she will find a loophole. Three years equals 1 year 4 months and 10 days and it only took that long because I was having trouble finding the right house then the As Is Seller was doing $7,000 worth of requested repair work. My realtor looked at me after closing and said As Is do not do repair work you know that. I said but they did because we you and I asked them too. He said maybe I should try this again in all my years I have never seen that happen.

  • out4good4

    What you've described in Poker vernacular is analogous to the economic principle of "sunk cost".

    It is just as applicable to life decisions.

  • snugglebunny
    I think it's a great analogy, but then, I've been playing poker for fifty years (just realized, wow, I am OLD). As kids, we played 5 card stud and blackjack (21) using toothpicks for chips. Parents let us play 'for fun'. But I digress. Back on topic ...

    Playing poker for fun very quickly palls. For a while I joined in a once a week game of 7 card stud, sit down money £10, once it's gone it's gone but you might win 50 quid,

    However, it's not enough. It has to hurt a little bit if you lose and feel good if you clean up. So now we play once a month, sit down money £50. That means £250 possible winnings unless you fold the game early.

  • Turquoisepeace
    Yes I agree, this can apply to many life scenarios and other games. My main point is being pot committed. I have a friend who has woken up way too late in life, she is 70. She loves her JW husband and knows it would not benefit her to leave now, not enough left to make her happy after she loses so much. So in that case, the analogy works.
  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    As much as want, daydream about leaving the WTBTS, I just cannot.

    All of my immediate relatives and life long close friends are hardcore JWs. My life is completely ruled by JW stuff. In the Autumn of my life, I just cannot muster the strength to start over.... alone.😔

    So, as much as I am awake to TTATT, I choose what's familiar.


  • just fine
    just fine

    I folded and couldnt be happier, as I bought in at another table and am still winning big 😀.

    i love having the freedom to do what I want, try what I want, and make mistakes.

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