Hey....who took all my GUILT???

Dawn

For years I lived under the weight of guilt. I suppose some of it is a consequence of childhood abuses - and much of it developed over a lifetime of trying to be good enough to make it through Armageddon. I never could reach "the mark" - oh I studied a lot, went to all the meetings, aux. pioneered whenever I could, and even gave "experiences" at assemblies. But somehow - I always screwed up. And my conscience would bother me - and I'd tattle on myself ....and ya'll know the rest. Just the thought of "the back room" sent a chill into my life.

The thing is - I carried this D*** thing ALL the time - regardless of how I was living my life. Even after I was married, I have always been faithful to my husband, I've been a good mom, and I work hard - but I constantly felt unworthy and guilty.

At church they have "alter calls" - where you can step forward and ask for help with something. I've always been too chicken &hit to admit anything in public (god forbid..maybe they have a back room too ) but one day I went up and asked that this weight of guilt disappear. It wasn't attached to anything I needed to confess or fix - it was just there all the time. Of course.....I was disappointed to bring it home with me again that day.

Some time passed...and a situation came about where the guilt thing came up again. In my conversation to someone I said "well...I'd better do (blah blah blah) I don't want to live with guilt again" and it hit me....THE GUILT...WHERE'D IT GO?! At some point this "dead-weight-guilt" I had been carrying for 20+ years was GONE. No wonder I had felt so good lately. I had lived with it for so long - yet it disappeared and I didn't notice - how could that be?

That was some time ago and I have a new relationship with guilt now. In my opinion - a healthy one. It doesn't just hang around like those stupid last 10 lbs...but when I'm about to make a wrong choice it pokes me. I don't like the pokes - they irritate me, and sometimes hurt. It's just like when I grab my kid by the arm just before they race into a busy street. It's getting my attention to steer me from danger. And when I remember that - I thank God for loving me enough to "poke" me from time to time - and I move on.

If only I could loose that last 10 lbs as easily..............alter call anyone?

be wise

Dawn, it really is an amazing feeling when it disappears, isn't it?

Glad you made it. Now you can move on and really enjoy who you are and where you really want to go in life. ENJOY!

freedom96

Dawn-

Good for you! Glad to hear the guilt is gone.

I have gone up on an alter call too; not too bad was it?

jgnat

I was brought up to believe (in Christendom's churches) that condemnation ("you are no good" "you are not worthy") comes from Satan. Condemnation leads to death. Condemnation drove Judas to suicide. How different from loving confrontation that leads to reconciliation, forgiveness, love and life. Loving confrontation led Peter to reconciliation with his Lord after he had denied him three times. Jesus predicted betrayal by both these men.

Congratulations on conquering guilt!

Dawn

condemnation ("you are no good" "you are not worthy") comes from Satan.

I had never heard that until after I left the 'dubs. It was a friend of mine, a christian, who explained it to me. And it makes so much sense - condemnation does nothing but tear us down.

Fruitcake

Dawn, my heart goes out to you.

I believe the Jehovah Witness faith attracts many people who have been abused, or feel inadequate from their past. This faith makes us feel special, and hopeful, and it seems like a gentle ,caring religion at first.

I jumped in and did it all too, pioneering, all meetings, etc, till I just burned out and exposed myself as a imperfect human being, then all of the sudden my fellow witnesses weren't interested in me anymore, It was totally conditional.

Jesus came to those that were "trodden" and "loaded" down cause the pharisses were making them feel like dirt.

Remember who Jesus came for and who he refreshed. He came for the sinners, not the righteous, and he said, it was the sick that needed a physician.

The true God and Jesus aside from the WT welcomes us in our imperfections, and wants to heal us with love and mercy.

Fruitcake.

DJ

Yes Dawn,

I relate. The condemnation is one thing....".for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"(Romans). You are no longer condemned!! Praise Jesus! However, conviction is something different. That poke that you feel is conviction. The holy spirit convicts us of our sin..(1John).for me it is sometimes before I do or say something.......but sometimes it is during.....sometimes after...I hate it when I grieve the spirit by not heeding that poke.(Ephesians) You are insightful to see it as the same type of thing as when you are caring for your son. It took me a while but I finally learned that when I do fall by greiving the spirit, that I am not condemned but convicted and need only to claim the blood of the Lamb and move on humbly with Him. It is such a gift to live in this newness, isn't it? Love, dj

Lady Lee

Sounds like you have gotten rid of the guilt that others try to put on you and the JWs are good at getting the responsibiltiy and guilt of what they do and putting it on others (probably how they keep their sqeeky clean reputation with the R&F)

I used to think guilt was my second name. I could listen to 2 strangers talk about something a 3rd stranger did and I would feel guilty. Talk about taking on other's people's crap. Now I have enough just dealing with my own thank-you. I don't need to take on the world's too.

This is a much easier way to live

Hey....who took all my GUILT???

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