memorial talk, the Sunday before the memorial
So what is this like?
My husband just realized that our trip out of town to see lots of extended family members is over the Saturday of the memorial. He looked all disappointed. (In light of his recent behaviors this kind of surprised me). So he said he would attend the memorial talk instead. I am curious what this is like/about, ( aside from talking about the memorial, which I am assuming.)
This is a frustrating setback for my emotions. I shouldn't have had my hopes up so high as to believe he was really mentally questioning enough to not be upset to miss the memorial. ...sigh..
Him being POMI is excruciatingly difficult, but I suppose better than PIMI.
I would just give him time and feed him little tidbits of information about "The truth".
Yes, it is hard to have your hopes dashed yet hope springs eternal doesn't it? been there many times.
One thing a jw will never ever miss is the memorial, doesn't matter if you are out of state they will go to great lengths to go to a kh wherever they are so they can tell their local cong they went. That has been my experience anyway.
Don't get too down in the dumps about him not being far along enough to miss the memorial...that's the biggest thing for all JWs. In hindsight I'm not exactly sure why, but it definitely gets everyone coming out of the woodwork.
Memorial is a boring hour long talk with light refreshments that no one is allowed to eat/drink. Typical JW guilt and sales pitch. As far as interruptions to your plans, it's probably the best you could hope for because due to the scheduling they often shuttle people in and out pretty quickly and have to keep it relatively short.
His experience is that he stopped everything, even the Memorial when he was in his late teens or early 20's, out for 20+ years, no Memorial or anything, then once he decided to begin studying,BOOM all the sudden the memorial can not be missed. Well, actually he IS missing it this year, and going to this weekend before Sunday talk instead. Ok. That helps.
I guess knowing how long he didn't go, made me more hopeful than I should have been. ..... yes Carla, you do know. It's so hard.
Freedom Rocks, I have been "feeding" him tidbits for about 7 years. I began with a truth bomb ( bad idea) joined this and another forum which set me straight, thankfully.
Oh, pre-memorial talk on sunday, I misunderstood. I'm not sure what it's about this year, but generally it goes something like this: State some problem that exists in the world, then assert that only god can fix it and you can feel better about everything if you become a JW, talk to anyone in the congregation about studying. Mix in some guilt, lots of fear mongering and overwhelming statements and that's about it. Then super boring watchtower study afterwards where they read a paragraph and people take turns reading bits of the paragraph back. Occasionally a nutter in the congregation will give a rambling off-topic tirade about their life.
Thanks Oneeyedjoe :-)
Nonnie, it is just a habit.
Your husband is an addict. He thinks he needs to get his fix.
That's all. Don't sweat it. Just remind him to quit chewing his nails.
Everyone is different and has different needs vis a vis JW organization.
Thank goodness the memorial is once a year.
If attending that one meeting fills his need (and reduces the FOG +Fear, Obligation and Guilt), then well and good.
A recent poster said that when his still-in wife raises concerns about what's happening in JW organization he uses understatement in his replies - even offering lame excuses for the organization rather than coming across as eager to hear about her misgivings - which can overwhelm an ambivalent person. Softly, softly.
Yes Steve2, I have learned the softly softly.... took a bit but I did.
Birdie, such a great memory you have His nail habit is one that bothers him so much!
Thanks everyone :-)