Another "good" elder might be getting the axe....

by humblepotato 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • humblepotato

    So our congregation is full of hardliner elders, 3 of them, who are not gentle, kind or loving.

    People have either moved away or quit trying because one elder inparticular was going to drive them crazy with all his rules and nit picking and being righteous over much. (And he is pissed that he hasn't been accepted to the School. Hmmm, I wonder why!)

    Anyways, last year, an elder from California moved here to the Midwest who was one of the few that was humble, kind, and loving. He always showed compassion, gentleness, and commended the friends. That alone created a giant riff between him and the BOE. The body always wanted discipline and was rigid with laws vs principles. He always wanted forgiveness, and for the body to stay out of the personal family matters of the friends that did not concern them. He was soft with the friends, but he got into arguments and fights a few times with the body over the last year. He really went up to bat for the friends here.

    Unfortunately, last week his teenage daughter was disfellowshipped. Now the congregation is devastated because they know that we might be losing him as an elder. Also, people are devastated over the disfellowshipping of a minor child, to say the least!

    Some people, like myself, hope he can stay on as an elder. Others think he will be forced to step down or get deleted. (Which I'm afraid is going to be the case.) He's already had his parts reassigned to other elders. They won't even let him be the Sunday chairman for crying out loud!

    What usually happens in a case like this? I asked a question and was scolded. They said the CO will decide when he is here next month.

    Sad... sad... sad...

    Why does the Watchtower shoot themselves in the foot like this? Just think if they let kind people serve and shelved the jerks...

  • blondie


  • humblepotato

    @blondie SKE School for Kingdom Evangelizers, formerly called the School for Christian Couples.

    I edited it to just say School. I think most people recognize that easier.

  • Saename

    I've never seen elders like that in Canada. Huh.

  • blondie

    Not every ex-jw would know that; thanks for clear that up. The terminology changes so often (to trip up the apostates)

  • Tallon

    Sorry to read of this. Another decent, caring Elder who went out of his way to support the congregants now finds himself in the position of being deleted from the BOE.

    My personal opinion; this Elder should walk away. To hell with them all.

  • dozy

    Most elders would resign on those circumstances , but otherwise normally an elder would be deleted - the quote below is the relevant one from the elders textbook. A lot depends on the other elders & their attitude - some are hanging judges , others can sympathise. We had an elder removed in our congregation ( against his wishes ) when his son was reproved ( not DFd ) for immorality. It sounds like with the CO visit coming up shortly he has been put on gardening leave & they have kicked the decision into touch tlll he arrives.

    Members of the brother’s household are involved in serious wrongdoing: The brother’s
    qualifications should automatically be reviewed if this occurs. If the brother’s wife or children, including
    adult children living in his home, have serious problems, the body should seek to determine whether the
    head of the household was negligent.

    Was he permissive? Was he alert to provide needed direction, anticipating potential problems?Was he conducting a regular family study? Was he giving his family neededtime and attention? When he became aware of serious wrongdoing, did he promptly inform the body ofelders so that they could properly investigate the matter? Did he shield his family from discipline or try to manipulate the elders’ handling of the situation? Does he continue to have the respect and confidence of the congregation as an exemplary family head? If one of his children was guilty of serious sin, are the other children doing well spiritually?

    If the brother has done all that can reasonably be expected and especially if he has had spiritual success with others in his household, rejection of his fine direction by one family member would not necessarily disqualify him if he continues to have the respect of the congregation.

    The only good thing is that especially if his daughter gets reinstated he won't be out long - MS in a couple of years , elder a couple of years after that ( as long as he doesn't have any enemies in the BOE who would slow up the whole process. ). But maybe he will "see the light" - especially if he is a decent guy as you describe.

  • hoser
    They remove this guy as an elder and wonder why their workload increases.
  • Incognito

    Being removed as an elder maybe the best thing that could happen for him.

    If he is as reasonable as you claim, he may awaken to the lack of love and compassion shown to his daughter, himself and other members of the cong. His removal may also cause some dissension within that congregation. Let's hope.

    I think some reasonable people (elders & regular JWs) believe they can influence positive change from within. Ray Franz was a prime example of opposition displayed against someone attempting to change viewpoint and policy from within. As a member of the GB and with a highly influential Uncle also a GB member, Ray likely had the highest potential to influence positive changes yet consider how he was treated. How much less success would a lowly elder or regular R&F witness have in influencing change?

  • Chook

    Hopefully if this elder is genuinely good he might see through the evil practice of disfellowshipping and get out of this cult with his daughter. This subject makes me so angry, I've been in Congs where dickhead elders emotionally bash the flock , I seen one cong go from 70 publishers to 8 because of these Pharisees. In this particular cong the elder running the show was delusional ,I remember one night in the winter inside the hall when the meeting started it was 8 degrees Celsius,so I approach this idiot and ask is there good reason why we are cold or do you need more money for gas. This is exactly what his reply was " the society is worried about the green house affect". I was thinking how can I reason with such an idiot,he drove his car to meeting which affects the green house. They were down to 2 elder so he had total control, he even told me I was grieving gods Holy Spirit and I asked if my wife's in agreement with me does that mean she is grieving to and he said yes. It makes me angry because I took this religion serious and sold my nice house to to get away from this dickhead.

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