So obsessed

by incognito2014 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • incognito2014

    I find it almost too difficult to bear. My mother now in her 80's does not miss up on an opportunity to preach. In fact most of the time the opportunity does not exist but she mentions something anyway.

    She is so blind it's embarrassing

    She continually praises individual witnesses and tells me how these individuals are the most fantastic people, point to where they live, where they work as we drive past. I couldn't care less but it does not deter her. Every conversation is about someone or something in her cong.

    She mentions that the organisation is so efficient now and it has all changed for the better. It shouldn't have changed at all! This efficiency is list on her anyway because iPads etc are not her thing.

    She mentions that 4 congregations are now sharing a hall but cant see in any way that this is a money grab form the WTB&TS.

    I keep reading here that JWs are seeing through it but not so sure, are we projecting the fact we see though it onto others and assume they can also see it.

    If my mothers anything to go by they haven't got a clue they just lap it up.

    How are your older parents dealing with this change?

  • DesirousOfChange

    My elderly mother is a diehard JW. But why not? It's all she has known and it's all she has left. Even the fact that all of her old friends are dying hasn't awakened her to the fact that the New World is never coming -- at least not within her lifetime. She has funeral arrangements, so I think she realizes that the only way she will ever see the New World is "via the underground".

    When she goes on-and-on about witnesses being so great, I remind her about the JW kids I grew up with that served prison time, or got knocked up, or have been divorced 3 times, or JWs that were having long-time affairs while appointed or serving as Elders.

    When it comes to money though, she quit giving when they aired the Sophia's ice cream money video. The idea of taking a kid's ice cream money pissed her off royally because she sees how they waste money. She knows the Circus Assm costs are a racket. She she says they won't see any more of her money. (She & Dad were VERY generous contributors in the past!)

    She gets plenty of anti-JW dogma from us and our kids that it somewhat neutralizes their Cult propaganda, at least after she's reminded of those issues that disturb her.

    Still, she's best where she is in the Borg. That's where all of her remaining friends are. It's been her entire life and it would be disastrous if she left or was tossed out (for saying the wrong thing).

  • steve2

    My JW parents are deceased. Looks like your mother really gets to you. Given she is in her 80s, what else does she have? This is usually not the stage in life to re-appraise one's beliefs. I'd suggest that it is more likely to be younger ones who are better placed to question or - put it this way - older JWs may have questions and even doubts but they would face a lot of inner pressure to put doubts aside.

    There's a lot to be said for accepting this is how your mother "is" at this stage in her life. The most I would say is to reduce your level of contact with her (if possible) and/or practice saying silently to yourself "la la la la la la la la la" over and over every time she preaches. Old people are entitled to some lee-way with their delusions.

  • sir82

    She is emotionally invested in JW-dom being true.

    Imagine the horrific mental / emotional shock if she were to determine that it was all a lie, that her lifetime of sacrifices were for absolutely nothing, all her efforts in "serving Jehovah" were utter futility.

    Her subconscious is protecting herself from something that would literally kill her. So she doubles down on all the pro-JW rhetoric.

  • Finkelstein

    If my mothers anything to go by they haven't got a clue they just lap it up.

    JWS are mentally indoctrinated to hold up other JWS as they make up the organization as people who are spiritually or righteously special, distinct from any other identifying Christian.

    To do so reconfirms their own righteous sanctification as being loyally righteous and pure before God.

    Quite frankly I've met better people who identify themselves as Christians

  • pale.emperor

    My mum is 60... not that old really, but she is exactly the type of person who'd swallow a pill if the GB dished them out and told her they're from God. To be fair, she grew up in foster homes and found "the truth" when she was 15 and it basically became her family. She'll never leave.

    She also see's nothing wrong with preaching to grieving families in hospitals about the resurrection and "they're sure to get one because they died before Armageddon". She's perfectly at ease standing at a JW cart right next to a homeless person asking for spare change or food and has JW Broadcasting on literally every waking moment.

    I think these people are better off in the cult. The real world would eat them alive and she seems genuinely content. It's just a shame that one son is dead to her (me) and she has no pension or savings to rely on when she retires this year.

  • Finkelstein

    It's just a shame that one son is dead to her (me) and she has no pension or savings to rely on when she retires this year.

    Brainwashing by a deceptive lying cult that extrapolates money and labor out of people has its consequences.

  • Spiral

    I hear you, Incognito. My mother is in her late 80s and has dementia, so it's like the proverbial "broken record".

    However, if you ask around you will see that many in our age group are dealing with older parents who have outlived their cognitive abilities. If it wasn't "the truth" it would be something else, repeated over and over again.

    But I feel your pain, because I also just get sooooo tired of hearing the same thing. Her generation isn't going to quit being a JW because most are by their very nature worker bees and haven't been thinking independently for years. They are never going to see the obvious because it doesn't benefit them to do so.

    But the ones that are younger who can't see it..... they are the ones I really wonder about.

  • Magnum
    I keep reading here that JWs are seeing through it but not so sure, are we projecting the fact we see though it onto others and assume they can also see it.

    I wonder about that, too.

    I have three close JW relatives, one being my mother. She used to gripe and complain about JW stuff - about the org in general and about individuals, but lately, it seems she's stopped doing that. However, she does not really praise JWs, at least around me.

    I agree with sir82. I think my mother deep inside wonders whether something's wrong, but at her age (around 80), she's scared to allow herself to dwell on it. I know she's worried about dying; I can tell from things she's said in the last few years. In harmony with what has been said in posts above, she's too old to consider the possibility that she could be wrong and to lose her hope.

    But, again, I, like you, wonder whether JWs are seeing what we see. As I think is the case with my mother, I think some realize it ain't all adding up right anymore, but they're scared to go there mentally.

  • scratchme1010
    How are your older parents dealing with this change?

    My parents actually seem like they toned the preaching down as they grew old. I think that in their case they realized all the damage that they created in the family, and how much they alienated people around them due to their preaching and proselytizing. Also, they loved to argue, so they were never in agreement as to when/where was appropriate for one of them to preach.

    You shouldn't feel embarrassed by your mother. Let it be. That's how I came to terms with my parents' behavior.

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