I Dont Want My JW Family To Wake Up

pale.emperor

It's come to the point now, after being out almost 5 years, that I've come too far with my life, acheived the things I wanted (or I'm on the road to), did the things I wanted to do and have reached a happy and satisfactory life.

I did all this on my own apart from exJWs such as yourselves online for support. After reaching a place where I finally dont think about WT everyday and stopped getting emotional or worked up about my former JW life I'm glad to simply live my life and let others get on with theirs.

But, if my family were to leave and get in touch I'd have to deal with all that shit again. I'd have to deal with people who's personality I deliberately removed from my life as I was building an authentic nonJW life.

My mother would likely still be closed minded and homophobic.
My sisters would likely still live for gossip and social media stalking.
My cousins would likely still put on a pretence of wealth to impress those around them.

I really cant be doing with such people.

It sounds bad, but I really hope they stay in. My mother might as well waste her life in a cult that gives her a reason to breathe (door knocking and magazine reading) than suddenly realizing at 70 years old that she had no savings, no pension and has spent 55 years reading magazines that kept changing their stance.

Ironically, if she'd spent 55 years reading National Geographic or something she'd have a sharp mind. Unfortunately she chose Watchtower and Awake!

Tameria2001

I know exactly how you feel about this. At this point in time, I have had only one sister leave the JWs as well, but our relationship is nonexistent. This is because of how she treated me after leaving it, and would still be if I would allow it. My relatives (including those who are not JWs) are very toxic and negative people. That I do not need, or would I ever want back in my life.

onestepatatine

I feel that way about very old ones who are in the cult. They spent their whole life many times waiting for something that will never happen. To pull the rug out from that at the end of their life cycle is IMO cruel. This is why the cult is so dangerous. It destroys what could have been. Lives that were never fully lived. This is one of the reasons I hate the cult so bad.

Giordano

When my wife and I left in the mid 1960's ....you just left. There was no punishment for becoming disassociated. No standing shunning rules unless you were DF.

We discussed our feelings with close family members. Most couldn't grasp the issues we discussed. They really didn't want to know.

Many family members understood what bothered us about the WTBTS. Eventually as time passed those family relationships became less and less interested in us. We returned the favor. Over the years the religion became harsher with ex JW's.

At some point in time the Society encouraged shunning one and all who separated from the religion no matter if they had sinned or simply no longer wanted to partake.

Our policy was to shun those who shunned us.

We have outlived our JW parents, Aunts, and all but two JW cousins. Both of whom have elected to shun us over their life time.

One cousin was born 7 years after we had left the JW's. She's totally living in shunsville. The other could not exist if he got tossed out of Bethel.

We have our own family complete with grand kids. We Celebrate the holidays and birthdays, have a Sunday dinner tradition. And I don't think about the two remaining family at all.

pistolpete

I believe a person can choose whoever he wants to be in his circle of close friends,

Whether it is JWs - (still in the religion) or EXJWs, (not in the religion anymore), or relatives, or close family members, or work associates, or any other group one can conjure up, -----the named relationship should never be the criteria that determines who one chooses as one's close friend.

Life is to short to allow people into your personal life that will drag you down mentally, emotionally, or physically.

One should choose people who add zest in his/her life and understand the meaning of compassion.

Gemmel

You can't choose your family but if you don't like them you can ignore them.

Cheers