by TerryWalstrom 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • TerryWalstrom

    JW Humor


    There are people who bring happiness whenever they enter a room.

    JW’s bring joy when they exit.

    If you talk to God, you’re praying; if God talks to you, you’re either schizophrenic, the G.B. or both.

    Two things are infinite: the Universe and . . . JW stupidity.

    Jehovah’s Witnesses have a lot of spiritual tests in their daily lives. All imaginary!

    JW’s have only one area in which they are ignorant: their own ignorance.

    J-Dubs could learn a lot from dogs. For instance: obedience, loyalty, and how to go around and around in circles before they lie.

    At your local Kingdom Hall, you can learn amazing things: Jehovah loves mankind. He will destroy billions of them at Armageddon. Sex brings sin and uncleanness, therefore, you should save it for marriage!

    No tight pants! The GB believes only they should be able to crawl up your ass, constantly twist things around, and squeeze your nuts.

    The Watchtower is constantly changing the direction of their doctrines. Why? Two wrongs may not make a right--but three left turns will!

    JW predictions about Armageddon should be like skydiving. If you fail the first time, count yourself dead wrong!

    Outside of a dog, man’s best friend is the Bible. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

    Watchtower wisdom: It is dangerous to be right when the Society is wrong.

  • ShirleyW
    Two things are infinite: the Universe and . . . JW stupidity.

    That sums it all up.

  • A Ha
    A Ha

    Two jokes I heard from COs many years ago:

    1. Retelling a complaint from a waitress; "JWs come into town with the 10 Commandments and a $10 bill--and don't break either one." He was trying to say don't be cheapskates regarding tipping when going out to eat after conventions, so I guess that's a good thing.

    2. "The three fastest forms of communication are.. telegraph, television, and tell a sister." At the time I was surprised the CO would tell a "cool" joke, now I'm like "That's sexist!"

  • TerryWalstrom

    There were no self-effacing jokes in or around the Kingdom Hall although the 'friends' I knew had a good sense of humor.
    Most jokes were recycled Baptist, Rabbi, Priest fare.

    I was surprised to learn yesterday that there is an Ex-JW comedienne.

Share this