Writing a story

by HowTheBibleWasCreated 3 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated

    I was listening to the audiobook of The Silmarillion at work awhile ago and noted that the 'creation story' basically included, God, the devil, angels and even a special people (Elves). (BTW Gandalf is obviously a Jesus-like figure)

    I got to thinking that much of the prose of the bible could easily be reworded.. after all bibles like the World English Bible are copyright free. Thus using a simple wordpad program I grabbed Genesis-2 Kings and replaced about 100 words. The I did alot of cutting out of portions of books or whole books. (Like Genesis, Leviticus and Judges)

    After this I went through the remaining text and made my own beginning and ending. I brought in crossovers with some of my favorite stories (Star Wars, LOTR, Earagon even The Ring (Samara is made into a devil)) I replaced God with the Gnostic idea of wisdom (Sofia) and changed the name of every location and person. Some are humorous (Absalom became BamBam, Saul becomes Skoal etc)

    (Ex. "My son Bambam, My Son BamBam. Oh that I had died instead of you BamBam my son my son." lol)

    Lastly to add humor I added many F-words etc and laced the conversations with sexual inuendo until Iit was probably at least PG-13 and mildly entertaining. I also of course got rid of horses and replaced them with starship and speeders. (For instance Dawid kills Gaganax with a blaster through the head)

    Finally since the story ended in exile I decided to have and Joan or Arc like sence of The Sofia being killed by her people. As a result they are exiled in the ending.

    Once this was done I ran the text through a text-speech program and gave to file to a workmate that likes fantasy books. To my surprise he came back laughing and said it was way more better written then the bible stories. he recognized the outline of the story as the bible but it took awhile.

    (This only took about 2 hours on a sleepness night with nothing to do lol. if anyone is wondering)

    So this got me thinking.. Besides the Atheist Book of Bible Stories has anyone else done this? (Don't say Joseph Smith lol)

  • JeffT

    Thomas Jefferson took a pair of scissors to the Gospels and cut out all references to God. He ended up with a (slim) book of what he considered advice for living a good life.

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated

    Yeah I forgot about Jefferson. The way he does it makes that book look like the Gospel of Thomas lol. As for living a good life I would think if you remove every reference of God from Ecclesiastes it would be good.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Bored much?

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