I don't have direct experience in this but I have had conversations with a couple elders recently about this very thing. it is absolutely true, that if somone was to be baptized as a JW, they would need to acknowledge and identify as the sex they were physically born into. There is ZERO understanding of this type of thing. The guys I spoke to are pretty liberal and open, and they were just horrible regarding the entire subject.
that being said, this is not likely to come up. However, if you think this is cruel, you have barely scratched the surface. I was until a couple years ago a pioneer, served in a spanish speaking country, gave talks, worked on the RBC, and much more. I realize you kind of mentioned people here as "apostates", but that is something i think is derogatory and unkind. I would encourage you to abandon that kind of loaded language in order to foster real conversation.
Ask your self if any of the doctrines below are cruel?
You can be disfellowshipped for things like celebrating a birthday, or mothers day, or disagreeing with a "current" teaching of the governing body. If you were baptized when you were 11, and then when yo are 25you decide you do not want to be int he religion, you can be disfellowshipped, and then communally shunned by 8 million people including your family not living with you. There is no biblical support for this, or the three elder judicial comitee arrangement. Does this sound cruel to you?
JW's in the case in particular of the Australian royal commission, have been very specifically proven to have put their reputation and desire to save face, above protecting children not just in the congregations, but in society at large. Does this sound cruel?
Currently if you take certain blood products in good conscience, you can be disfellowshipped if anyone found out. this despite a changing target of a doctrine that has changed multiple times. Even if your conscience says "hey.....white blood cells are only 2% of blood and are forbidden, but Albumin is 6% of blood and is ok......that makes no sense and i will decide for myself.....", you will be disfellowshipped. Does this sound cruel?
I personally stpped attending meetings, but have not sought to draw people away from their religion. I avoid the conversation, live a good life taking care of my family and others, and have been a good friend to many. Despite the fact I am not reproved, disfellowshipped, or otherwise doing anything of note (I don't do X-mas or flaunt any other things I currently do such as voting......another thing you can be DF'd for), I have lost several friends. They choose to shun me simply because I don't go to meetings anymore. Does that sound cruel to you?
I would encourage you to learn more about these things. Once you are baptized, there is an incredible amount of control you hand over in your life to these men.