It has been at least 2 years since I posted, and for the most part, I believe, I left this site on a happy note. I had moved on from the drama and confusion that transitioning out of being a JW and into the world meant. I was building a happy life with my children. I established a career for myself that provides meaning. I started dating. I made new friends. This site played an instrumental role in helping me to move on and start anew.
I find myself thinking about old Bible texts again.For the past several weeks, many things I learned while in the Watchtower as a Witness have come back to mind. I wouldn't say that any of it is doctrine related. I never really held onto those strange beliefs anyway, even when I was a Witness. Many of the principles about how to be a good person, a good Christian, are popping back into my life. And, to be honest, I am thankful, so very appreciative, that I have the Bible as a foundation to turn to now that things are back in flux.
I must make a decision soon, either to stay in my current relationship or leave, but I must make it from a peaceful place, a powerful place, a place from wisdom and knowledge and insight. I've stopped talking to my friends about my problems. In fact, I have retreated from many of those, what now feel like, superficial relationships. I stopped going to happy hour. I no longer want to drink, although sometimes I do succumb. I started seeing a therapist. I like that she tells me to trust and be my Wise me. I've decided to stop talking to my parents about what's going on. I feel pressured to make decisions I am not ready to make. I feel pressured, and I don't believe I have explored all of my options and done everything possible to improve things. I have mastery over my work. I started going to the gym. I started taking flamenco lessons. I am turning into myself and towards my children. I want to be alone, more than anything else, in order to think and find myself again.
I don't know what I will find being here again, in this community. I am an ex-JW for many years now, and I resolved and removed many of the issues and distorted lies the JWs implanted in my soul. I seek love, honor, integrity, intimacy, and a deeper connection to the universe through my relationships and my inner core. I thought about writing a blog, about starting a Bible study for myself, to find self-understanding and become centered. I don't want to avoid the truth of my situation, but I do want to examine it more closely to make sure all avenues have been explored.
Hello, again, everyone. I am looking forward to where we go next.
Galatians 5:22-23, for example. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Ephesians 4:31-32. "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you."