New greatly appreciated

by Confusedandangry 42 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Xanthippe

    Hi and welcome Confusedandangry. Yes I went a bit crazy too when I realised it was all false. Just take it slowly, ask your questions and we'll all try and help.

    Think of it this way about your loss of years, people make mistakes all over the world or are born into horrible circumstance and regret their past. We're not the only ones. Just move on from now and look forward to all the freedom and fun you will have 🌷

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Start by doing nothing to alert anyone that you have doubts. The vast majority of 'raised in' JW kids who see the man behind the curtain blow their chance of any continuing half decent relationship with their parents and family by forgetting all of the warnings about apostates that they heard from the platforms and ragazines, thinking that their family is sane and decent and reasonable.

    Slow down and make a plan.

  • jaydee

    Hi , and welcome...the more voices , the better...

    Image result for flowers emoji

  • Confusedandangry

    Thank you so very much every single one of you for your kind and encouraging words. I could not reply for over 2 hrs for some reason. I really truly appreciate every single piece of advice I've been given. I will definitely get a start on the books that have been referred to me. I also appreciate those who shared your personal stories with me. I don't feel as alone in this any more.

  • Onager


    As others have said, you need to be cautious now. Planning a course of action now could reap benefits that last you the rest of your life.

    The teachings of the JW organisation are like a verruca growing into your foot. If you don't carefully excise it, using the right treatments and just a tiny bit remains, then it can come back again time after time.

    If you act instinctively and start thrashing about you will scare and alienate your friends and family who are still JW's... like someone with a verruca running into a swimming pool changing room and screaming "I have a verruca!"

    If, after thinking about it, you still want to lash out then go for it! But please consider the fading option first.

    Good luck!

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Welcome Confusedandangry. The feelings you have are shared by many of us here, especially, "How could I have been so blind and not see through the scam?"

    The good news is that you have awakened. Your task now is to take things slowly and learn to be "cautious & innocent." Don't give the "executioners" any information which they could/would use against you.

    As "mature faders" ourselves, my wife and I have established our own set of rules, and the elders cannot cross the lines drawn. Take time to do some research, and carefully prepare your answers when others attempt to get information out of you. Here are a couple things which I hope will help you on your journey.

    Keep researching and try to stay restrained when you feel that the J.W.'s around you should know the truth. It's hard to keep quiet, but it will save you a lot of grief if you do!

  • stuckinarut2

    A sincere and genuine welcome confusedandangry!

    Please be assured that you are amongst honest people here in this community who respect you and understand the journey you are going through.

    It has been over three years for me now since I allowed myself to break free and look at "the man behind the curtain" (wizard of oz analogy)

    You are not alone.

    You are not the one with the problem. The society we revered as "gods channel" is wanting and reprehensible in many ways.

    The best piece of advice I can offer is: Maintain your dignity, poise and grace as you discover the many things about the "truth" (or as we say TTATT. the truth about the truth)

    Dont try and mentally deal with everything at once. Take Baby steps.

    And share your thoughts here on the forum! This is a safe place.

    I look back at the hundreds of posts I have made, and I'm thankful for this forum. It allowed me to purge my thoughts and share with others in the journey.

  • pale.emperor

    Welcome confusedandangry

    I myself am 8 months out (disfellowshipped for apostacy (apostacy meaning using pre 1980s WT literature to reason with the elders in my Judicial Committee)). Now that your eyes are open you can enjoy your life without fear. Keep digging, you wont believe how deep the rabbit hole goes!!

  • WingCommander

    Hello, and Welcome! In your first post, you mentioned that you were watching Lena Remini's Scientology show because of your semi-active JW husband. Later, you state about not knowing whom to talk to about your concerns?

    May I suggest, that your "semi-active" JW husband, is NOT semi-active at ALL, but was merely playing the part until he could get you to watch this show, see the similarities, and awaken you to the fact that you've been raised in a high-control cult?

    May I suggest speaking privately with your husband about how this show made you feel, and ask him if he had the same feelings? You may be pleasantly surprised at his response and reaction. :-)

  • Tapioca

    Welcome and Best Wishes, CNA.

    The burden you have been bearing, unintentionally, for years, is being lifted. Oh it's a heavy one all right! In its place is another weight. You will probably welcome that "other" weight. It's a whole lot lighter than the previous one, but let me tell you: The transfer can get a bit tricky.

    Others here have said it better: Stay in your current holding pattern. Don't get so far off balance that you yourself fall. You may be able to help others wake up as you plot your path forward. As time passes, you will be able to look fondly at this time of transition. So welcome to a place where you are safe to think and to process and to vent. This is also a place where you can seek and attain balance, taking the best and leaving the rest. The community here is good like that. We're so happy for you!

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