Sure, I'd go back. But only if and when...........
by Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
Second time around I could go back as one of the anointed.
I failed dismally the first time as a rank-and-file-member and I put it down to the fact that I was underachieving. My father always said that you should set your goals high.
So, give me a chance with that heavenly hope and I'll show you what can be done to get that WTS show on the straight and narrow. I'll even put in a good word for all the misfits here
Cheeses has spoken.
When I was ten, I told my mom I thought I was annointed. Living forever just sounded like crap to me...she promptly smacked me on the back of the head and told me not to joke about such things.
Ahh...those were the days!
I'd go back when either:
a) Pigs Fly
b) Jesus Christ appears during my waking hours and tells me to.
Francois, how can you tell if it is Jesus Christ and just not some guy with long hair and a robe?
I''ll go back for one of four things:
1: The Funeral service of some relative (if held in the hall)
2: The Funeral service of some friend inside who still talks to me (if held in the hall)
3: My kid's wedding, if one of them decides at some point to be a witnes and get married. (God forbid!)
4: If I get really wealthy and buy an old kinddumb hall to gut out and turn into a night club.
Here's one way you can tell:
I think of "going back" not as an occasional visit to a Kingdom Hall but as a return to the teachings and lifestyle of JWism. And I don't see myself doing that.
if and when...
I lost all my marbles
oops most of them think I have already done that
Oh well guess it is too late for me
Maybe the thwack to the back of the head knocked loose the anointing
I'ld only go back if there were six guys carrying me, dead, inside a coffin.
I'd go back if :
- They scrapped the 1914 date
- Told us that we all have a heavenly hope
- Teach the real truth about the bible
- Give obnoxious C/O's a good kick up the arse
- Show less favourtism to elders wife's and kids
- There was a sudden influx of single gorgeous sisters
- We got to offer porn on the service
- Polyester suits were replaced with casual wear
And finally, I'd go back If :
- All pigs were fed and ready to fly