Forced Marriage

by cornish 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • cornish

    Did they have much choice?

    [Deut. 25:5] if brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead shall not be married outside of the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go into her, and take her as his wife.
    [Deut. 25:7] and if the man doesn’t wish to take his brother’s wife then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate of the elders, and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to perpetuate his brother’s name in Israel…then the elders of his city shall call him.

    And if he persists…then his brother’s wife shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, and pull his sandall off his foot, and spit in his face; and shall answer and say: so it shall be done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house. And the name of his house shall be called in Israel the house of him that had his sandal pulled off.
  • teenyuck

    Depending what country you live in today (even in the US), you can still be *given* or promissed to your husband, years before you get married.

    I worked with a girl from Pakistan. She was in the US on a student visa, then a work visa. She was very attractive and *perky*. She and a Pakistani in the office really hit it off. However, she had to go back to Pakistan and get married. The girl was completing her master's degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Engineering. She was smart, educated and well paid.

    She left in tears...she came back about 4 months later (the company routinely let employees from Pakistan take 3-6 months off to visit the homeland) and was miserable. She brought her new husband to America who did not speak english. She would talk with him, on the phone, for hours at work. Crying at her desk.

    Then she would go to lunch with her co-worker.

    When I spoke to her about it and she explained that her parents had paid years ago for her (her dowry), she had no choice. She had to go back and marry this guy she knew since childhood, but detested.

    It was very sad. Yet it persists. It will take many generations for that type of mind set to change. Women are still chattel.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    My mother arranged my first marriage. She had been taking me around to meet men, mostly much older than I was (16-17 at the time). Most of them had mental health problems. This one was just studying but at least he was my age. She made the proposal. She set the date. She made all the arrangements. I obeyed.

    BTW We are Canadians. It happens in the most unlikely places to people you would not suspect

  • teenyuck


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