Phone call from my sister.

by els 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • els

    I haven't been on here in quite a while so let me refresh your memories. I have a son who is in the Army Reserves, he went to basic last summer but he's a senior in high school and has to do his individual training so he's not in Iraq with his unit. I haven't heard anything from my family since last July when I told them what he was doing. So my phone rang this morning and it was my sister who lives with my parents. She said, "Can I ask you just one question?" Sure. "Where is Sean?" I said, "He's in school" Where? "High school, in Fort Ann." She said, "So he's not over there?" Me, "No, he hasn't graduated highschool or finished his training so he can't go anywhere" Her, " Oh good, we were worried." Me, "Well you could have asked me that when the war started, actually if you hadn't stopped talking to me you would have known all along and nobody would have been worried." Her, "Well OK, We love you, you know." Me, "Yeah, unhuh. Bye." I suppose I was rude but I feel like they don't have the right to worry about him when they don't even talk to him or remember what grade he is in. He's mine and he doesn't need their kind of love. Neither do I. els

  • Prisca


    I can understand how you feel. My sister and I have a similar situation with my father. Rings up when he wants something, but never to show concern for any of us.

    Good luck to your son in his schooling and army training

  • outnfree

    I'm sorry, els, I don't remember your situation, exactly, but I am assuming that YOU have left the organization and not only you but your child/ren are being shunned by your family?

    I feel like they don't have the right to worry about him when they don't even talk to him or remember what grade he is in.

    If they aren't speaking to him (because he's bird food anyway), then I don't understand why they are worried, either. EXCEPT that there may be some human, family sentiment somewhere underneath those WT [pl]at[t]itudes which you may be able to touch at some future date.

    Meanwhile, I am glad that your son is not presently in danger. Would you please pass on my thanks to him for being willing to serve?

    Sorry for your hurt.


  • acsot


    Just read your post. I remember you mentioning that your family started shunning you due to your son's joining the Reserves. It really gets me that dubs can turn their feelings on and off when they please and expect everyone else to fall in line with their twisted reasoning. Maybe your sister will feel a little guilty over what you said and it'll make her think of the unreasonableness of dubdom.

    I'm sorry for what you're going through with your family. Aren't you glad we have this place to vent (and laugh and snicker and cheer and cry)!

    I'm thinking of you!

  • Swan
    I suppose I was rude

    Els, shunning is rude! What you did was just honest.

    Hang in there.


  • blondie

    els, I'm sorry for your family's rude lack of concern. I have people in my family and at the KH that only call to get an exciting tidbit to share with their friends at the KH.

    It goes like this.

    "Hello, Blondie."

    "Who is this?" (I hate people who don't identify themselves when they phone you)

    "Oh, this is Sister HotGossip. I was watching the news yesterday and it made me think of you. You work with Sister DatesAWorldlyGuy, don't you? Was that her boyfriend that was arrested yesterday?"

    "Yes, it was. Why, are you going to call her and tell her how sorry you are for her?"

    Silence. "No, I was just wondering."

    Blondie, "By the way, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Bye."

    Of course, I am not taking calls from people at the KH any more and I screen my family calls. My family members have always been self-centered and rude and years of "Bible training" at the KH has not improved them one bit.


  • Maverick

    It is hard to know the motive of another person. It may be a attempt to start a dialog with you and your son? Maybe this person was hoping you would open up and they then could invite you to the Memorial? Maybe they assumed your son was in the military and they could play on your natural concern for him as leverage to witness to you? Your response may have 'shut them down'. As I said it is hard to know, but the timing is interesting. Someone is thinking of you and talking. Maverick

  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda

    So true, so true! It's not really love and concern - or so is my opinion.

    My mother has never seen my 3 grandchildren. She has not seen her grandson in over 12 years. I tell them nothing! Although I did have opportunity to rekindle a relationship with my fence-riding older sister and shared some family things with her that I'd wish now to have remained silent about. Guess that's the price I pay for thinking JW family has any right. My mom and two sisters have had no contact with a df aunt, my mothers sister, in over 15 years. So when I get this phoney "did you (meaning me) know about Aunt Jeannie?" Well F*** me!!!!!! I know more about what goes on with the df side of the family then you'll ever know...cut the phoney crap with me!!! Just like someone already stated; how they turn their feelings on and off so quickly. That's the behaviour of a split-person.

    I'm all for not telling JW family anything. It's none of their business as long as they continue shunning. Even then, for myself, there is no likelyhood of me ever speaking to them again. I made that choice last week. Up to then I'd thought that perhaps they could set their religious mumbo-jumbo aside, but they cannot refrain from preaching. Screw em!


  • els

    Thank you all, I think I have finally gotten to the point where their s**t just makes me mad instead of making me sad and depressed. I am so proud of my son I could just burst. He would like to be over there but I have to admit I'm glad he's not. I just wish all of them could be safe. els

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