The new year is a good time to start things up. So please help me decide which one of these two thought systems I should start. I was thinking of two different types. So let me know which do you like best.
Religion 1
When we first start the church, we will go to countries all over the world and kill people unless they join.
In later years there will be...No birth control, No eating meat on Fridays. We will confess our sins to a priest. Sex before marriage is O.K. as long as they are screwing a fellow church member and confess it to the priest. After which they will have to say 2 hail Mary's and 4 our fathers.
Oh, by the way the priest can't marry, but they can be drunks and have sex with our children...we'll look the other way. Only one meeting a week. People hate lots meetings. Our meetings will be in Latin (something no one understands) We'll believe in Hell Fire, and infant baptism.....and of course there will be lots and lots of GUILT!
Religion 2
This one will have people lining up to join.
We won't have much money in the beginning, so we can't kill people unless they join. So we will need to find our new followers by "going house to house" (yea that's the ticket) looking for really unhappy people.
Our message will be one of "Good News".....and what will that news will be? God is coming to kill off just about everyone. The "Good people" and afterwards his followers will have what is left of the earth and so of course some of your friends or family might get killed off by our God. However don't worry our God in his infinite mercy will erase their memories from your mind. So this God is a really nice guy, just don't piss him off.
Wow! Just like the God in Religion 1
No hell fire, when your dead your dead, no sex before marriage, So people will have to get married really young, usually to the wrong person. No college education, we may change that later. So with no college most of our people will be really stupid and that's a good thing. No holidays or fun things because we are creating this religion for sad and depressed people. We don't want to cheer them up now do we...Remember their only happiness can happen in the future.
We'll need 5 meetings a week...or they may start to question things. We'll keep them busy with lots of meeting and field service looking for new recruits they will be so busy they wont have time to start to question things and our believes. However if they do and change their minds and try to leave us, we will shun them.
Oh yes, there will be lots of GUILT also!
Did I leave anything out?
It's going to be really tough to start these religions up, because people are so much smarter these days, but once they're up and running.....who knows how big they could get.
What do you think?
Keith Casarona