HELP! Mother in Law coming to visit @ Memorial time

by betweenworlds 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • betweenworlds

    Hi All! I need your help....

    Well, I'm kind of in an uncomfortable position here. My mother in law is coming to stay with is on her way back from Florida. (We're in NC) Well as luck would she is going to get here on April 15th. On the phone with my husband yesterday she asked "So! are you all going to go to the memorial with me?" She kind of caught my husband off guard cause he had forgotten that the memorial was coming up, so he said to my boys "Do you guys want to go to the memorial with granny"? To which the boys, who are 7 replied "What's the memorial??" And here's me sitting in my computer chair leering and saying something to the effect of "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!" lol When he got off the phone I told him there was no way in hell I was letting my kids set foot in the KH. We talked a bit about how it was going to be uncomfortable telling her our stand and why we feel the way we do about the society. I'm still not sure how exactly we are going to do about it...

    I told my father in law last time he was here that I wasn't going to the meetings any more and I'm pretty sure he must have mentioned this to her...the thing is, he didn't get into it with us at the time I told him. I was really very, very suprised. There was No in depth conversation wanting to know why we weren't going to go anymore, no pleading of threats or anything...absolutely no more mention of it. The only thing I can think of is that he might possibly be having secret doubts of his own? They still attend the meetings VERY regularly and go out in service, so with this lack of interference I dind't know whether to be relieved or insulted LOL! hmmmmm. If you knew my FIL you would be suprised by this behaviour too. He is the kind of person that has no qualms what-so-ever about sticking his nose into your affairs if he thinks he is justified....ANYHOW, So after my MILs phone call hubby and I were talking and I told him I really thought it was time we took a firm stand on this matter. Steve mentioned that he wondered if it was fair of us to not let the boys make their own desicion regarding religion, and was it fair to not let them have access to the JW beliefs. I told him NO!!!! The JWs are a destructive cult, and I would no more let them be exposed to that crap than I would let them go play out in traffic! My babies are NOT going to grow up with that baggage! So does anyone have any suggestions? Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Would love to hear what you did. It's going to be very awkward to say the least.

    Thanks :)


  • DJ

    Hey, Just my opinion but, knowing what I know about the watchtower now.......I would never let my children attend a wt service. My kids are 11 and 5. My 11 yr. old knows why I am against their teachings. It is vital IMO to teach our children WHY. If we just forbid them then it will be as forbidden fruit to them. I think also, that it would be a no-brainer to ask your husband to do some research on the wt teachings or you do it for him. If he understood why they are so wrong then he would never agree to let his children be taught such lies. He obviously must still be on the fence. A rotten place to be.

  • Prisca
    Steve mentioned that he wondered if it was fair of us to not let the boys make their own desicion regarding religion, and was it fair to not let them have access to the JW beliefs.

    On the same lines, you could also argue is it fair to not let them have access to other beliefs, such as Catholic, Protestant or Hindu. How many religions would you have to subject them to, to be "fair"?

    It's possible your Mother said what she did about the Memorial, in an attempt to "encourage" you.

    If she wants to go whilst visiting you, let her go, but don't let her try to guilt-trip you into coming along.

  • Azalo

    it is defnitely going to be awkward but you're better off taking a stand now than allowing this one exception which your in-laws could use to start planting little seeds in your children's heads. I told my parents before my first child was even born that I did not want them talking to her about anything religious until she was an adult. I want her to have a childhood free of guilt. they said they respected my wishes and so far it hasnt been an issue.

  • betweenworlds

    Very good advice DJ! I agree that the children have to know why. They know that mommy and daddy grew up in a bad religion that caused a lot of problems...we talk to them openly so they are pretty well balanced little guys :)


  • betweenworlds

    Hey Prisca,

    Yeah, I told Steve that the memorial only lasts for one hour, and that she could go that long without the boys. If not she can stay home with us ;)

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