Head Games

by freddi 6 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  freddi

  Hi all,

  I am not new to the board but I am new to the shunning that I am receiving from my former bro and sis of my old k.h. You see, I was a baptized member of j.w.'s in 1988 and then I stopped attending in 1990. In 2002 started attending a Baptisit Church and I was baptized by the church in the same year. one day one of the j.w. sisters who used to talk to me noticed me going to another church. Since then, I have been shunned by all of them. Am I now considered an apostate?

  I am glad that I have found freedom to believe the way that I want to but I feel so hurt by the way that my former mates totally ignore me. When they see me, they just look in another direction or they just look up in the air. I know that it is foolish for me to feel any sort of pain by them doing this, but I do. How do I get over this? Can others on this board please tell me how they dealt with this same situation.

  peace,

  freddi
• 

  Victor_E

  You wrote

  :::::I am not new to the board but I am new to the shunning that I am receiving from my former bro and sis of my old k.h. :::::

  These were not your brothers and sisters they were volunteer employees of the Watchtower.

  ::::You see, I was a baptized member of j.w.'s in 1988 and then I stopped attending in 1990. In 2002 started attending a Baptisit Church and I was baptized by the church in the same year. one day one of the j.w. sisters who used to talk to me noticed me going to another church. Since then, I have been shunned by all of them. Am I now considered an apostate? ::::

  Yuper, you got it Toyota!

  ::::I am glad that I have found freedom to believe the way that I want to but I feel so hurt by the way that my former mates totally ignore me.::::

  Your freedom has a price, this is it.

  :::: When they see me, they just look in another direction or they just look up in the air. I know that it is foolish for me to feel any sort of pain by them doing this, but I do. ::::::

  The only reason you feel pain is due to your flawed and distorted belief system of how things should be according to you. You have a choice to continue to feel bad or see reality for what it is and choose to feel good. Just because a few misguied souls shun you in nothing incomparison to humanity at large not shuning you, and most of the time treaing you humanely.

  :::::How do I get over this? ::::::

  1. Find yourself a skilled therapist.

  2. Talk to your new minister and ask for his help.

  3. Educate yourself by reading as many web sites you can find on the issue of shunning.

  4. Go to your library and read every book you can find on JWs written by former or non JWs. Invest in your emotional health by purchasing both of Ray Franz's books, Penton's book, Visions of Glory book, etc. etc.

  5. Go to Disneyland and procrastinate on feeling bad for the rest of your life.
• 

  xenawarrior

  Ya know, this is what I have hated about this "cult" from the beginning and to me, shunning is a very clear sign that it is about control and not about true religious belief.

  If Armaggedon is truly the worst thing to fear- "You will die in Armageddon if you are not a JW" then why the need to add anything extra to it. If someone disassociates themselves with the religion and decides they no longer believe in it- to the remaining members; that person is going to die in Armaggedon. That is the worst possible thing and it then becomes clear that the shunning is put there as nothing more than control. Why is shunning necessary if that person is going to "get his" for not believing anyway??

  I know and the folks here know why it's there. I said this to a JW and got the pat answer "it's a form of discipline" Yeah right. I told him- "No, it's a form of abuse"

  Makes me ill.

  (((((((((Freddi))))))))) I'm sorry you have to go through this crap !!!

  XW
• 

  rebel

  freddi,

  You will experience love like you have never known. You will feel accepted,

  I am so happy that you are here!

  Love

  xxRoz
• 

  Satanus

  Going to another church is possibly the second worst thing you can do, as a jw. Searching through wt literature of the seventies and eighties will give a picture of your being the worst kind of filth in the eyes of their god.

  Since you were only in for about 2 yrs, you are fortunate. Time will likely heal your wounds. It's a bit like a divorce, where your ex is passive aggressive (shunning). If not, therapy would help.

  It could be worse. They could try to haul you in to stand trial in front of their kangaroo court judicial committee. By all means, never submit to that. Let them know that your private life is none of their business in any way shape or form, unless you have broken the law.

  SS
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  Jourles

  Not sure if they will label you an apostate, but they will announce that you are DA'd -- automatically by your actions. I have known a few that left the org and attended a different church. We didn't call them apostates, but rather, "flipped out," "mentally gone," "Satan drew them away," and a few others. "Apostate" is reserved for the ones who speak out against the org and make it known to everyone. The Society calls anyone who draws away from the org an Apostate, but in most congo circles, people have their own ideas.
• 

  freddi

  Much thanks to everyone on this thread who has responded to how I am feeling. I appreciate all the advice and I will read up on shunning and i will also open my eyes further by reading the books that were suggested.

  It is true they are no longer my brothers and sisters. unfortunately, they are lost and I don't want to be involved with people who would inflict mental pain on another. The only reason why I guess that I started to notice was because for many yrs when I would see the j.w.'s on the street I would try to cross the street before they would see me. You know how they try to get you to come back to the hall by making you feel guilty. Finally, I took my husband's advice and didn't allow them to make me feel like I did something wrong. It was just such a shock to see the immediate change when I found the courage to walk on the same side of the street actually walk right past them.

  It took me awhile to get over the guilt of leaving but with everyone's support here on the board, I am convinced that it will take me a shorter time to get over the shunning. Besides, I must always ask myself what kind of God would make one feel humiliated.

  Peace everyone and thanks again.

  Freddi