Birthday/baby shower?

by DrunkWithLiberty 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • DrunkWithLiberty

    Yesterday, my six year old figured out that a birthday is a celebration of your day of birth. I didn't realize she hadn't made that connection yet (she's a bit fuzzy headed sometimes, but cute as can be). Then she states, "So when you get presents for a baby bfore it is born, that is the babies first birthday". You know, I never thought about it that way, but I think she has a valid point. Even though I realize that the spirit of a showere is to help out with the needs of a new child in the family , it is also a celebration of that new life. I am surprised the org. hasn't come up with it yet to add to their list of no-nos.
    Just a thought.

  • Kristen

    That is an interesting thought Angie...

    But of course, you will know there will be some kind of "rational" explanation about why it's okay to have baby showers, and wedding anniversaries, and bridal showers, and eternity wedding bands, and... and...

    who just celebrated her 29th birth anniversary this month

  • mommy

    Fuzzy headed as can be? I think not, she sounds like an independent thinker, cherish that I too at a young age often wondered why some types of symbolism was ok, but others not. And as Kristen said, there probably is a long explanation why it is ok for some things and not others. All you can do is take a deep breath and realize you are not alone in your thoughts. Thank you for bringing this up.

  • Latte

    DWL and Kristen,

    Just had to share this with you. There is also some good advice for everyone here!

    *** w52 5/15 319-20 Questions from Readers ***
    Does the Society approve of well-meant showers held preceding weddings or childbirths? Should the gifts be displayed along with an identification of the givers?—M. F., New York.
    The Society does not disapprove of properly conducted showers. But it is not good to get shower-minded, and involve the Lord’s people in a spree of them. It is easy for one or two to touch off a series that can become an endless circle of showers. It can burden the brothers, take their time, and their money for gifts they cannot always afford. You may say no gifts are necessary, but the custom calls for gifts and the majority will bring them, and it would be embarrassing to come empty-handed. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with giving gifts. Done spontaneously, it is commendable brotherly kindness and sometimes shows real Christian concern. There is some Scriptural obligation to note those of our brothers who are in need and to help them. We may use a shower as an occasion to help, but we do not have to wait for such occasions, we do not have to fit our giving into such customary times and seasons. Help is sometimes needed at other times. We should give when the need arises, and to those for whom the need is acute, and do so spontaneously, unsolicited by shower invitations that obligate us to give, whether the recipient is in need or not.
    Should the givers be identified with their gifts? Why should they? Surely those giving the more expensive gifts do not seek public acclamation. It might embarrass the poorer brothers who must give more modest gifts, and perhaps cause them to spend more than they can really afford. So why magnify the rich and humble the poor, even if it is unintentionally done? (Jas. 2:1-4) It is not Scriptural, this publicity to gift and giver. “When you start making gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, just as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, They are having their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing.” (Matt. 6:2, 3, NW) If anonymous giving were practiced, would the gifts be as expensive? Would the giver spend beyond his means, if he were not identified with the gift? That would truly measure the unselfishness behind the gift. Such giving pleases God.
    One final point of utmost importance, whether it is a shower or wedding or reception or just a friendly gathering of witnesses. Control the activities so that some edifying results. Silly games are for babyish people; mature Christians have advanced beyond them, left them behind. Sexually suggestive or passionate dancing to blaring jazz is not for Christians, though proper dancing and music cannot be condemned. When Jesus attended a wedding feast he used the occasion to glorify God, performing his first miracle, the turning of water into wine.
    (John 2:1-11)

    And we can be sure that he did not get in any line to kiss the bride either—so we leave such woman-exalting practices back in the[b creature-worshiping/b] world, where they belong.

    Instead of any such looseness of conduct or excessive use of food or drink, we should control activities and regulate entertainment into profitable channels, such as the singing of Kingdom songs, playing Scriptural quiz games, relating field experiences, and so forth. Not only will such things be a proper relaxation for us and get us better acquainted with one another, but they will be helpful to persons of good will that may be present and impress them favorably with Jehovah’s people.
    So we say that there is nothing wrong in properly planned showers, and those who attend should not be criticized by those who stay away, and vice versa. Be moderate in the number held, the giving, the enjoyment of material food and drink while there, and make them spiritually upbuilding. Always remember Christ is our model. (1 Pet. 2:21) He did not consume too much time on such things, did not make a showy display of giving, did not become gluttonous or drunk on such occasions, or at any other time. When at social gatherings he used the occasions to God’s glory, but he did not book up his evenings with parties and exhaust himself socializing. It was his zeal for Jehovah and the preaching work that consumed his time and energy. So it should be with us, balancing our various activities proportionate to their importance.
    Seems that this writer was obsessed with ‘creature worship’ (see JanH thread on tipping your hat to a woman) I can see clearly where the Org. came of the mind that birthdays was a bad thing…’s all connected to ‘creature worship’ Back then you could’nt even queue up to kiss the bride.!!!

    The birthday of your child is def. a day to acknowledge, and celebrate if that should be your wish. See
    *** Rbi8 Romans 14:5-7 ***
    5 One [man] judges one day as above another; another [man] judges one day as all others; let each [man] be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who observes the day observes it to Jehovah. Also, he who eats, eats to Jehovah, for he gives thanks to God; and he who does not eat does not eat to Jehovah, and yet gives thanks to God

    Does anyone know who this writer was? I would love to know…..just for my own information. I could then put a name to the person who’s mentality ‘demonised’ a perfectly OK, and joyous family occaision. What a miserable person he must have been!


  • Geoff

    Wow good post using the Questions from readers.

  • Kristen

    Oh, I just love those QFR's from the 50's! I noticed the words control and regulate quite a few times. Hmmm, it's no wonder why some witnesses are so uptight.

    Silly games are for babyish people

    I guess that leaves "pinchee-winchee" out of the next party.

    Who's never passionately danced to blaring jazz music. It's just too SAXY!

  • outnfree

    I am laughing hard so as not to cry!
    I cannot believe such rubbish was published and accepted! I certainly resent being called a "creature," but that's likely just my "Jezebel influence" showing! [8>]

    Anyone else take exception to the assertion that Jesus used the miracle at the wedding in Cana to glorify God? Didn't he, in fact, change the water into wine in a very unobtrusive manner? Isn't the Bible silent on the matter of how much he drank, how he and his disciples conducted themselves at the wedding, whether they feasted, danced to contemporary music, and/or played "silly games"? Isn't this QFR material conjecture? (If Jesus was perfect then he was likely the perfect party guest -- going along pleasantly with events as long as they weren't unlawful.)

    Just thought I'd ask for Geoff's benefit.

    Geoff, why does your web page mention sorcerers and sorceresses if you're so concerned about Count Chocula cereal in the house? Hmmmmm?


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