Wisdom Needed

Solzhenitsyn

2 things.

From your experience would you say that capitulation (going along with) and/or enforcement of all the ridiculous rules and sub-minutia (stupid crap: beards, wash the car for Sat svc, no tight pants, paint the KH with a 2" brush vs. a 4" brush cause the BOE says so) rules are primarily made possible or facilitated by the friendships that are maintained within the borg?

Also, would you say you saw yourself as part of the power structure or subject to it?

I (and my therapist) have really been looking for deeper reasons why I bought into this destructive cult for so many decades to help me gain closure and freaking move on. WHY CANT I MOVE ON DAMMIT?! Why does everything still get run through a JW filter? Argh...

Pete Zahut

That which we learn or come to believe with deep emotion, is very difficult to change or unlearn.

The JW religion and others reach you at an emotional level with what is thought to be kindness and love but the kindness and love is actually fear and shame based. They sing belief based songs intentionally designed to stir the heartstrings and further entrench you.

Strong emotions will almost always override hard evidence even when it's right in our faces .They convince you that they are chosen by God(which is unprovable). Once you buy into that concept they lovingly and subtly lead you to believe that if you don't give yourself over to their beliefs, you'll be not only an utter disappointment to everyone you know and care about but you'll eventually be put to death by God.

No normal person wants to die or be badly thought of or be considered a disappointment by their families, friends or those around them. Humans are hard wired to survive, to preserve their own lives and to be part of a group or society. The JW religion and others dwell on topics that keep those fears at the forefront and they cash in on the basic human instinct of survival. One is constantly reminded of their own mortality and of the fact that abandonment by the group is a real possibility if one doesn't comply.

The best way I know to rid yourself of the JW residue causing you so much consternation is thoroughly prove to yourself through research that their history is full of damning evidence, their teachings are not at all accurate and their claim of being the one and only true religion are not only unfounded but unprovable.

Giordano

Pete did a great job of explaining the ramifications of a high control belief religion. And thinking about all of the years you entrusted yourself to the borg how can you pull out this terrible wiring. Slowly and surely.

Here are some guiding principles from Eric Hoffer who wrote The True Believer circa 1950. A blue collar Longshore man and, as far as I have been able to find out, he knew nothing about the JW's but by god he nailed them.

"It is startling to realize how much unbelief is necessary to make belief possible.”

"The quality of ideas seems to play a minor role in mass movement leadership. What counts is the arrogant gesture, the complete disregard of the opinion of others, the single handed defiance of the world."

"All active mass movements strive, therefore, to interpose a fact-proof screen between the faithful and the realities of the world. ...by claiming that the ultimate and absolute truth is already embodied in their doctrine and that there is no truth nor certitude outside it. ...To rely on the evidence of senses and of reason is heresy and treason."

"Not only does a mass movement depict the present as mean and miserable - it deliberately makes it so. It fashions a pattern of individual existence that is dour, hard, repressive and dull. It decries pleasures and comforts and extols the rigorous life. It views ordinary enjoyment as trivial or even discreditable, and represents the pursuit of personal happiness as immoral."

Enough for now. Your not alone........ this is the blueprint we were all subjected to.

Hoffer simply looks at what we experienced with a fresh eye.

Ding

If you stay in so as not to get shunned by family and friends, I think it best to follow all their rules as long as it isn't something that violates your conscience. If you're an elder, find a good reason to step down unless you want to stay in so as to try to mitigate the effect of the more ridiculous rules. But if you do the latter, expect conflict.

If you decide to get out, then I'd suggest making a clean break (whether that means DAing or fading) rather than rebelling over petty rules like hair length and pants tightness. Small rebellions like that can be fun (watching fellow JWs obsess over dumb rules), but in the long run it just brings you more conflict.

I don't know if it's productive to try to figure out why you stayed in the borg so long. It's not a matter of lack of intelligence or character flaws. It's a matter of effective conditioning. Think of all the decent, relatively intelligent people you know who are still captivated by it.

For me, it's sufficient to realize that the borg is very effective at indoctrinating JWs through controlling behavior, information, rewards, punishments, etc.

The organization makes you feel that you are part of an elite group of people worldwide. At the same time, they make you feel inadequate or even worthless. You can never do enough.

Be grateful you woke up when you did and got out.

DesirousOfChange

It's a matter of effective conditioning.

Many of us were conditioned from infancy by the people in which we put out complete trust.

Tobyjones262

It takes time. You can not just move on unless you were only part of it for a short time. When its your life for years it takes years to get over it. Keep reinforcing by reading and looking at why they are a cult and wrong and all the wrong predictions. Some people can just walk away. My wife once awake just wanted nothing to do with it. When ever I am watching a video someone out is doing on what the cult is doing she will roll her eyes and say is there nothing else on? So for me its candy. I love to see the cult get nailed.

I want to see more and more proofs that its bull shit. The big thing is not to let them run your life. But learning about their past and becoming aware of the all the bs they have sold over the years is in a sense moving on. I don't know if I ever will stop watching things about the cult. It was a big part of my life and it enslaved me for years. So I love to watch expose on the cult.

The Fall Guy

Utterly convince yourself that the CCoJW can't possibly be God's organization/people, by comparing many of their doctrines with the Bible. Once you open this cupboard door, other skeletons become far more visible.

Any mystique and reverential awe of the org and its "faithful slave" will pop like a bubble!

The more I researched & collated, the greater my freedom became.

PM on its way.