Similarities between the Governing Body and an abusive spouse

by Zoos 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Zoos

    I was looking at a list of methods used by abusive spouses to manipulate and control their "domain" and was struck by how similar the mentality is to the Governing Body's approach to the flock. Obviously not everything on the list applies as there is no sexual component in the congregation and there is no physical contact, but the similarities were shocking.

    Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

    • Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.
    • Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
    • Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
    • Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
    • Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
    • Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault
  • Zoos
    Another point the article brought out is that an abuser is able to stop his abusive behavior when it benefits him. I immediately thought of Geoffrey Jackson and how cooperative he was whit the RC.
  • Vidqun

    Zoos, this reminds me of Mt. 24:45-51. The first part [45-47] JWs like. The second part [48-51] they ignore, cognitive dissonance at its best.

    45 Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time?

    46 Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so.

    47 Truly I say to YOU, He will appoint him over all his belongings.

    48 But if ever that evil slave should say in his heart, My master is delaying,

    49 and should start to beat his fellow slaves and should eat and drink with the confirmed drunkards,

    50 the master of that slave will come on a day that he does not expect and in an hour that he does not know,

    51 and will punish him with the greatest severity and will assign him his part with the hypocrites. There is where [his] weeping and the gnashing of [his] teeth will be.

    (Matt. 24:45-51 NWT)

  • SecretSlaveClass
    In this instance, I would be okay with slapping "seven bitches".
  • stuckinarut2

    Very interesting.

    There IS a form of abuse, as there is NO ROOM for any view or action except that which is "allowed" by the GB.

    That is manipulation and dominance at its worst....

  • 4thgen

    Absolutely! And we were like the abuse victim....first accepting the blame for the abuse...returning for more...taking our lumps...knowing something is wrong, but thinking it was us....until one day the lightbulb goes off and we say: ENOUGH!!!!!!! Same pattern. I heard that a victim returns to an abusive situation around 7 or 8 times before they finally leave for good. It seems that the way the indoctrination is carried out that it looks for those timid, worn 'sheeplike' ones to bring in to dominate them. Thanks for starting this thread.

  • Oubliette


    Being in this religion is being in a codependent relationship. No question.

  • Zoos
    "If you leave me, no one else will love you," sounds a lot like, "Where else will you go?"
  • Heartsafire
    Wow Zoos! This is a great point! The gas lighting, the deceit, the manipulation, etc. Not to mention the literal abuse of thousands of children covered up and hidden away. No wonder their followers are so co-dependent (or sadistically jump on the abuse bandwagon themselves).
  • DesirousOfChange

    Amazing how you look at things in such a different way once you start to awaken.

    All of that seems "spot on".

    It reminds me of when I first read Steve Hassan's "Combating Cult Mind Control". I was speechless. Shocked. I couldn't put the book down. I because to apparent that WTS/JWs is like the "poster child" for Cults. As I read very bullet point of the book, I'm thinking: CHECK.......CHECK......CHECK.......for JWs. It could not/cannot be coincidental. They have a strategic "plan" and they follow it to the letter.


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