Single male looking for single woman with small children. Must be willing to sleep in hyperbolic chamber and like to sleep with rare artifacts like elephant man's bones. You must be able to get along well with chimps and moonwalk when required. Your skin color must not be EITHER BLACK OR WHITE! You must also be the type of person who doesn't suntan or likes staying long periods of times in the sun due to my plastic surgery. At all times you must be the type of person who enjoys wearing surgical masks and hats on romantic evenings and long walks.
PS- NO WEIRDO's NEED TO APPLY!