Help Me Regain Contact With My Still In Family

by pale.emperor 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Sadly your family are hurting beacause of the cognitive dissonance your leaving has caused them and they are also ashamed of you so the desire to hurt you is very strong at the moment. The shunning, they are told, is an act of love not a punishment but just now it fits perfectly with their desire to punish you. This is how the cult had designed it. Give them some time to see you are not coming back and perhaps they will start to miss you and your daughter.

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    If you allow your mother to spend time alone with your daughter, she WILL try to indoctrinate her, perhaps in small doses at first, and WILL paint you in a bad light. "Don't you wish Daddy (or Mommy) would come back to Jehovah so you all can live forever in Paradise and pet lions every day?"

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Your poor daughter is going to get enough JW nonsense from her mom. Please don't play into the WT dictates and go along with your mom's idea. If she won't see you, she shouldn't see your daughter. Period. Her loss, her choice and don't EVER let her suggest differently (and she will say so, explicitly.)

    I've got a granddaughter who is 3. I would never cut off my kids and expect that I could see my granddaughter. If you live in Texas or Louisianna, come visit me (and stay along with your daughter for dinner!)

    M.

  • pale.emperor
    pale.emperor

    Your poor daughter is going to get enough JW nonsense from her mom. Please don't play into the WT dictates and go along with your mom's idea. If she won't see you, she shouldn't see your daughter. Period. Her loss, her choice and don't EVER let her suggest differently (and she will say so, explicitly.)

    I've got a granddaughter who is 3. I would never cut off my kids and expect that I could see my granddaughter. If you live in Texas or Louisianna, come visit me (and stay along with your daughter for dinner!)

    M.

    Thanks JWDaughter. Unfortunately i live in the UK:( But the offer was lovely.
    Yes i've decided to not let my mum see my daughter. I do, in part, feel a little cruel because she asks when she can go visit her nana again, but im not the one choosing to shun here.
    I intend to go to the meetings, get reinstated then just not turn up ever again. I make no pretense to my family, i dont believe it's Gods organization. I'll be rejoining a cult to have contact with cult member family.
  • pbrow
    pbrow

    Hey pale... maybe its a culture thing but why are you asking your mother if you can go to her house? It will be a cold day in hell before I am not allowed in the house I grew up in.

    You walk in the door, plop your kid on your lap and say... yes I will have creamer in my coffee!! Thank you!... None for little pale though... she will be bouncing off the walls for sure!"

    What is she going to do? Call the police??? That would make a great impression her grandchild! Myself, I would go toe to toe with my brother if it came down to that but even he talks to me because I simply don't allow him to shun me. ALLOWING them to shun you is playing their game.

    pbrow

  • pale.emperor
    pale.emperor

    Hey pale... maybe its a culture thing but why are you asking your mother if you can go to her house? It will be a cold day in hell before I am not allowed in the house I grew up in.

    My mum has complete trust in the WT mags and has never questioned them. Even when you mention old teachings she claims that they were never taught. She's that indoctrinated.

    I saw her today actually, my little 2yo girl was asking if she could visit her so i made arrangements to go to the house to drop her off. My mum text me refusing to let me even in her street. I had to meet her in a train station and pass her to her. Not a single word was said to me. It's very strange. I have to collect her from the same spot later after work. It was as if i was invisible. My daughter was showered with attention though as if i wasnt there. As her little hand was waving me goodbye my mum took her hand and quickly put it behind her back and took her away.

    All because i left the organization.

    After that treatment i've written her a letter (see my other post), she wont be seeing her again.

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped

    Dude, you better hope you get her back, and then never let them cross paths again. Her behavior is sketchy as can be, and juck Fehovah's Witnesses for acting like that. Be strong man, and keep those two apart. She will absolutely poison your child against you.

  • Gulf Coaster
    Gulf Coaster

    I read your letter on your other post and can absolutely understand why you would shun her back. Your mother's behaviour was poisonous and hateful. Even though your daughter is only 2, she will pick up vibes that make it seem weird & uncomfortable to her. And I don't think young children should be exposed to such toxicity. They're too young to process it. Your her dad and nobody has a right to treat you like you were dirt. I don't believe in putting our parents up on a pedestal and cowering before them. In our childrens' lives, we are Number Uno, not their grandparents.

  • pbrow
    pbrow

    That's tough bro, gotta protect that little one. I have not read your letter but from my limited knowledge of your situation you are right to cut those ties. Do it while she is young and start filling her life up with positive things.

    I know I still struggle with being non-confrontational but I purposefully am with any friends or family that try to shun me like that. Your letter will be thrown in the trash but they cannot un-hear what you say to their face.

    pbrow

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I just read what happened at the train station. Maybe your letter was too nice. That was pretty evil of her-I'm sorry to say it about your mum, but that is not human.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit