Were You Ever A True Believer?
I was raised in the religion and for the most part believed that my religion was truth. I recognized some mistakes were occasionally made but felt that nobody is perfect. Then I smartened up and realized how dumb so many of the beliefs are....Was there ever a time that you truly believed you had the "truth"?
It was weird for me....I thought I had the truth and went through life as if I did but on some level I didn't believe it, yet thought there was something wrong with me for not quite "getting it" like everyone else did. Living that way eventually led to terrible free floating panic and anxiety issues that seemed to come out of nowhere, stuck around for a decade and didn't quit until a week after I left for good.
Before leaving, I started asking JW's I knew, questions, trying to find out what they believed and where they stood. Turns out most if not all didn't "get it" at all but were going through the motions and were fine with that. It didn't matter to them in the least that they had to ignore all the gaps and holes they noticed. They had no problem being elders, pioneers or bethelites all giving talks, making comments and teaching others, beliefs that if they though too much, didn't make sense .
I was raised in "the truth".
It was "the truth" simply because it was "the truth"... Circular reasoning at its finest...
Anything I didn't understand was either my fault, or I was not spiritual enough to get it.
As for other topics that were not clear, "wait on Jehovah to explain in Due time" was the standard response...and I was satisfied with that...
My wife and I converted when I was 19 and she was 16 before we got married, We were both true believers to the point where we stayed in it for the next 33 years, Vacation pioneered I was a MS (never wanted the responsibility of being an Elder)
So yes we were tru believers.
And it took a few more years to finally shake off some of the indoctrinated beliefs that we had.
I remember when I first started coming onto sites like this and hearing about the UN saga and I thought BS they would never do that ,using cows blood in medical procedures BS they would never use that ,fractions of blood BS they would never do that .
But guess what , it is all true
self-taught true believer (never had the mandatory bible indoctrination "study"), believing that the peaceful world was coming, that the "truth" was work in progress. special pioneer, in foreign language field for decades. not realizing as I do now, that the very basic premises, --(even of pre-watchtower vintage)--not only the late developments.-- are simply wrong.
I was a true believer when I was a jobo. Then when I was a born again I was a true believer. So when some smart ar$ed fundy christian says the reason I don't believe is because I was either never really a true believer or I just don't want the responsibility they can do the proverbial 'FOAD'.
Their insulting claims are just an excuse for them to continue to believe in a mass delusion caused by a bias they have.
I no longer believe in god/s. I did though, once. Really believed. Like, really really!
Absolutely. As a natural black and white thinker and a people pleaser (rule follower) I was primed as a child to be a great JW and I was. I bought in totally.
I was a true believer, but at the same time i believed there is more to it than what we read. As a child in school i can still remember feeling so close to Jehovah. As if he was my best friend. I'd talk to him in my head and pray all the time (i sound quite mad dont i?). And there were times i thought Jehovah had indeed answered my prayers. But then, i was also convinced that i'd never leave school because armageddon was just around the corner.
I remember 1995 and some in my congregation saying this will surely be the last Dec 25th the world will ever see because, how much worse could the world get?
It wasn't until i was about 22yo that i started to realize that what i believed was not entirely what the rest of the JW's believed. I didn't agree with shunning those who leave voluntarily and want to be left alone. I didn't know we were supposed to shun those who leave formally. I didn't understand the ransom. I still dont in fact. If Jesus died for our sins then all we have to do is be sorry and it's glossed over? But then why confess to elders? They're imperfect and God and I know the full story. Then there were the stupid stories of Jehovah providing a Circuit Overseer with a kitchen renovation while that very same day two airplanes crashed into the world trade center. Stuff like that makes you step back and think.
Sure... I was 7 or 8 years old and completely dependent on the opinions offered by my mother and THE "infallible" ELDERS.*
Even at that early age, I had the experience of cognitive dissonance as I realized that these "brightly shining ones" had no grasp of basic science that I was learning in school and from reading the Encyclopedia Britannica that was available in the Sunnnyside congregation's Kingdom Hall Library. I also had to square some lies I was told about how the WTB&TS had "scientists" who were doing "research" for the WTB&TS even now, on this side of Armageddon.
So I grew up wading through this stinking swamp of foetid bullshit because the "most important thing" was vindicating Jeho-wad's Universal Sovereignty so that I could survive Armageddon and live forever in a Paradise Earth.
The stench was overwhelming, but it is a funny thing -- after exposure to even the worst odors in existence, the nose will 'turn off' and the stink will no longer be noticed.
On a spiritual level.
Let the reader use discernment.
*Even as a kid, it struck me that the WTB&TS was so eager to explain how fallible the Pope was while claiming infallibility for themselves.