Judging by thier fridge!

by unclebruce 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce

    g'day fellow food and wine buffs,

    I'm looking after an eco-tour lodge/guesthouse at the moment while the owners are in Melbourne attending a wedding. Now this is a big house resting on fifty or so of the prettiest acres overlooking the Saphire Coast. Ngarin (aboriginal for 'Black Swan') like my place, is surrounded by National Parks. Wild kangaroos, wallabies, wombats banicoots, poteroos, eagles, hawks, kites, sea-birds, owls, pelicans, swan plus dozens of rare bird types, numerous bat species and other fauna amble and flap about like like own the place!

    It isn't cheap to stay here ($100/person/night) This house has eight bedrooms, a library with books dated back hundreds of years (oldest i've found so far is dated 1577 .. imagine that - books handed down and some even written by your direct blood ancients Books by ancient men about thier tours through lower Hungary or more recent ones recording great grandads bicycle tour of the world in 1888. (across four continents on penny farthings no less! - now that musta hurt!)

    Some big rooms display the collected artifacts and furniture of generations of movers and shakers throughout the British Empire. This old English family has a background at least as colorful as my own but the ties to thier heritage and history haven't been severed by religion or war. (these are literally big people. Husband wife and four sons all stand at around 6'6" - when i sit in the chairs my feet only just touch the ground. i don't think i've ever stayed in such a big house)

    "we've got plenty of food - two freezers and three fridges full - just make yourself at home and help yourself" said David before they left. I opened fridge no 1 and was nearly bolled over by a cloud of toxic gas that'd make a terrorist proud! Fair dinkum, this is putrid! I admit, i'm a bit fussy about what i eat but never imagined anyone keeping salami a year out of date or tasmanian smoked salmon covered in mould .. wheels of imported cheeses hard dry or weeping like a madona! A wheel of Jarsburg! I nearly cried! I dream of one day being rich enough to buy a whole wheel of Norwegian Jarlsburg and here it is. It's all mine but i can't bear the thought of scraping off the grasslike growth in search of the cheese heaven that once was Norways finest!

    Yuk! .. and the other fridges were the same. So here i sit eating thick lambchops from the deep freeze (i guess i have a weak stomach, even swallowing these is hard .. don't think .. eat!

    Lee, shuting his eyes and thinking of England

    ps: sorry if i put anyone off thier smoko.

    pss: am i right in judging people by thier fridge? I've been around a bit and thought i'd seen it all but this really does take the cake and it's a guest house too! (this explains why "you'll find some people don't stay for breakfast") unc who bought in fresh food and won't let guests near the kitchen!

    psss: I'm feeding two baby/teenage eastern grey's each evening. One day i'll post pics of me bottle feeding Michelle and Dorrigo .. they're just adorable (cheeky buggers ran away when i called them up from the lagoon for thier morning feed but they'll be hungry for thier bottles this evening lol.

    pssss: David is a natural history buff so wow what a library! Another hobbie of mine is furniture restoration and i can't get over all this antique furniture, made in 1654 and such, just used and abused like it was pine from cheap harry's lol this boke really is old money and excentric to boot. An oar from Gelong Grammer (some say Australias no 1 school .. my grandad would counter with "NO! - Kings College Adelaide :) other rowing memorabillia and rare collecters items just hanging in the shed like meaningless old crud.

  • Francois

    An entire wheel of Jarlsberg? Growing grass? It breaks the heart. Nothing like a beautiful plug of Jarlsberg accompanied by a crystal stem of finest Madeira. Ah, the gustatory delight, the post-prandial perfection. Go hence, go with your camp axe and liberate that beautiful center. Obviously they will never know the difference.


  • unclebruce

    nah francoice

    if only you were here to bravly go! lol. .. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope .. second course will involve washing a fresh vegemite sandwich down with old gin and new indian tonic water .. ahhhh .. proper tucker (from my own esky

    everytime i open a fridge a cloud of mouldy gas invades the dining room (i'm sure it's following me around like a poltergeist or something!) Even the wine cellar's a bit dodgy - i mean wines alowed to get old but i'm not drinking from anything opened already or without a clear label! lol

  • Been there
    Been there


    Just think of the sorrow in those fine peoples hearts when they return home to find all the food in there fridges spoiled because the power went out and you didn't call the electritian. What kind of house sitter are you? Really though most people would not eat in restaruantes if they knew what the kithchen looked like. I try not to think about it. Generally if what you can see looks bad, you can pretty much bet that what you can't see is even worse..............Yuck

    Been There (of the I don't scrape mold off of nothin' class)

  • xjw_b12

    Hey Unc. A huge house inhabited by Giants ?

    (these are literally big people. Husband wife and four sons all stand at around 6'6" - when i sit in the chairs my feet only just touch the ground. i don't think i've ever stayed in such a big house)

    I think you may have stumbled upon descendants of the Nephilum !

    And as for the fridge...perhaps they just stock that for appearances. Maybe they prefer fresh human flesh.

    And you say you're out there all alone........Spooky

    Library sounds very interesting though ! Any books on werewolves or vampires ?

  • DannyBear

    Dear Innkeeper,

    Who cares what's in the fridge.....the library is worthy of a visit in itself. Geez man you find the most interesting things to do.

    I have a suspicion that your neighbors realize the benefit of having a Unc care for thier business while gone. Careful Lee you may have to give up your 'tea room' in lieu of a new job offer from the 'giants'. One thing ex-pioneer types can do is, make people feel at home. I surely would pay the $100 or more a nite for the stay as your guest.

    Great story.....thanks for sharing.

    Mom always said the mold on cheese was like a natural penicilin......so I never worry about every bit of green left......good for what ails ya.

    All hail to the next Conrad Hilton.


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