For your last week as a JW

by Skimmer 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • Skimmer

    If you are a JW, you may he hesitant about leaving because you think they will gossip about you after you're gone. Do not worry, they are gossiping about you already. So, have some fun and give them some extra material to help them with their "more spiritual than thou" addiction. Here are some suggestions for things to do during your last week as a JW:

    1) Show up at the meetings with a very strong scent of alcohol on your breath. Sunglasses optional.

    2) Show up at at meetings with the scent of marijuana on your clothes. Sunglasses required.

    3) Wear a flag pin on your shirt.

    4) Wear a crucifix on a necklace.

    5) Get a bunch of provocative bumper stickers for your car and park next to the Kingdom Hall doors so that all will see.

    6) Make up your own "truth" literature packs and hand them out during the field service.

    7) Ask the brother in charge of the literature distribution that you want one copy of everything he has in stock to build up our personal library. Tell him you'll "donate" the full "suggested' amount on your next visit.

    8) If it is the week of the memorial, don't pass up any offer of a free snack.

    9) Print up a lot of small, unobtrusive fliers with lists of "apostate" web site URLs. Sneak them into the books in the Kingdom Hall library. Also, put copies under the wiper blades of the cars parked at the Kingdom Hall. Don't forget to drop one into the contribution box.

  • Skimmer

    Oh, and here's another idea if you plan to hang around for a month or more:

    Tell the elders that you have decided that you are now among the anointed class. BE AS SERIOUS AS POSSIBLE. Convince them with plenty of references from WTBTS literature. Then start a correspondence with Brooklyn, giving them your suggestions for the proper spiritual food in due season. Again, try to make your letters as serious and as convincing as you can. Tell them that you are only doing your duty and woe be to any of the other sheep who try to interfere with the FDS. When they refuse to listen to your new light, start asking some very pointed questions on how they can teach that the anointed form a class when 99.8% have no say in decision making. Keep track of your letters and their replies so that you can later post them on the Internet for all to enjoy.

  • twice shy
    twice shy


  • flowerfreaks2

    LMAO!!!! Love it!!

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