in honor of jesika's letter............***the mole***
this letter was sent to my family six months ago, letting them know my concerns with a questionable religion and how they treat each other including their own mother, my grandma.....
In the past years it has come to a boiling point for all our family of certain things that exist and will permeate all facets of our lives even more so than now. As things progress our family has digressed to a nature that cannot be labeled but only explained. As the years pass and the Matriarch of the family grows older our families last and only adhesive will soon be gone. It is my fear as one of the only of two in our family who can pass on our legacy will dissipate as soon as our beloved mother and my Grandma leaves us. I grieve everyday of what I see as a so called family especially labeled as a True Christian family to come to so much defiance and lying that it can only be described as sickening. Many complain and has chosen sides of a battle field no one knows the boundaries or the war. Is what I say wrong or do we as people, family, and true Christians see the glass walls we have chosen.
If I may have but a moment to say my peace and given the respect to be heard not only as the oldest grandson but also the last son of Grandma as she feels. She has nothing to offer me such as material things only the wealth of loving me for whom I am as a person and to give counsel in her own loving way. Whether I take it or not she tells me it’s my free choice and using the wisdom she has taught me to make my way while all along you have lived your lives and ignored her. But what I have seen of the family has grieved me so, to the point to right this letter to all members of our family. I shall try to stay objective and stay true, so forgive me if I have offend you but all must know and read what I have to say and make your own conclusion, I will not do that for you.
First the taking of sides not knowing the whole facts, Little Mikey’s wedding the most important day of his life, Not one of our family ever used their free choice of conscience of will. Was it not Carmen and Uncle Mike who suggested to everyone not to show and made such a scandal of it to embarrass the family itself? Why were members in her family who are Jehovah’s Witnesses attend and give gifts and excepted Little Mikey as a brother and family member? Even I was under threat and was accused of being rebellious if I attend. What is interesting is that Mikey was not disfellowshipped?
What else can be said about my own father that I don’t already know? You, the many, bicker how much a pain he is to you and gripe what a loud mouth he is; Yet you grovel to borrow money from him knowing already who this person is. You have dealt with him if not your whole life but most of it, but you can ask him for a loan? Now I thought if you borrowed some money you paid it back whether or not you’re worldly or a Jehovah’s Witness. Any worldly person knows that, yet we posses the mental capabilities to forget so quickly and ask him for money only to give the song and dance of how ugly and a loud mouth he is to you. He has the power to take away a home and yet he holds back in fear of only one thing, keeping his family and friends close. So why deprive of him of his friends and family? Once an agreement is signed that’s it, right? I have always liked Ashley and felt some mutual bond with him so its nothing personal, but the fact is the fact, if you owe and signed the dotted lines your ass is in the sling.
Now here is the kicker. We have an elder in our mist that was seen with another woman and was drunk at a bar. This elder asks an individual who walked in hours later to cover his story or get an ass kicking. Is it true? I was threatened when he came to my home. I want to know does this elder and so-called brother of the faith have the love to pay back the $2,000.00 loan for his bail for the D.U.I. or can he say not? But he can accuse and point a finger to wrong doers within his eyesight and no one will question his motives for doing so. Is it the boy who cried wolf in Danny’s case when he yells apostate to his brother? Should we keep the pitchforks and torches ready each night for the crucifixion? We are civilized, yet we act no better then Spanish inquisitors of 1600’s.
Danny your words and actions are your own damnation. Keep your accusation for your own grave none of the living care. Another thing, I was told that my daughter is being corrupted for using E-net and E-mail and it is the work of Satan. Yes, this is what I was told and headhunters came to my home investigating such allegations. Are we now to cower when something new comes out? Fear of the new brings questionings, to be labeled apostate if your small minds don’t understand. Do I live in Salem in fear of being accused of a witch? Danny could send his minions to do his bidding to search out guilt, so then it must be that we are guilty first? Is it not we are innocent first? Well, what can we say, get the stake and nails, we will moan after the fact, right?
Your actions as a family for doing nothing are proof enough of the vile and septic mentality in which we glory ourselves as Jehovah's slaves. Family unity now is further away than before. Can we say in 10 or 20 years from now that any of us or family members will even now each other, or are we condemned to walk past each other not knowing who the other is. Are we to drive away our blood for strangers who come and go throughout our lives? All we have is but us. Jehovah blessed families who where unified not divided.
Sammy and I are the only ones to pass on our names. I have begged the family at the gatherings I attended and subtly asked where did Grandpa’s stuff go. What hurts the most is that those who have it won’t share it. Even one of our family members evicted from his home didn’t call anyone to come and get grandpa’s yard tools. Yet it was left to go to the dump.
Sam and me have but our stories to tell and nothing to show. While all of you where gone, it was Sammy, Grandpa and me who would go together and do things. Yet family members took stuff not thinking of that proud legacy he left for the our name.
None of you appreciated his love, sweat and blood he put into his land or you would have seen it as an investment not a rattrap. Telling grandma to burn down the house and get the insurance money. Shame on you for the words told to Grandma during her grief. I remember it all or has all of you purposely hidden it deep within.
I miss my Aunt Margie, she was compassionate and understanding. She would be so disappointed in all of you for she strived in family unity not the chaos we have now. She may not have approved of my life’s past but she would have not judged me either knowing that it is up to a much higher power to do, not Danny or some unknown elder.
When Grandma goes, are you so sure you will see her again? Is it loud public praises that will save you? Is it that you got 100 hours in service or that you never missed a talk? Is it not love that Christ commanded that supercedes any law?
Now already Lines have been drawn for the next wedding or family event, on who’s coming and who is not speaking with whom. Can we as a family maintain some unity no matter what differences each of us has? We are so small that we cannot even get together to find out how the other is doing or are regulations of men much deeper than love of your sister or brother? Is it really so hard to come down from your mountain to visit your mother, give a kind gesture, a simple visit to a forgotten family member?
I love my God Jehovah and praise only him and his son so I speak not against him but only of those who cannot fulfill the simplest of deeds, respect of your mother. If you are bad then I dare you to hold any position in the organization whether you are female or male, in this way you can say I’m better than the stranger and the Jew. Can you be honest or love without conditions and regulation of men? Who of you ignore Christ teachings and Jehovah’s examples of loving your parent, because if you do you have already failed.
I have no intention to hurt anyone so I apologize. In a hundred years whose going to care anyway, so this letter will probably be thrown into the trash, but at the least I said something.
So if my own cousins can be tossed away like refuse, family members lie to keep their position to judge and excuses on why you cannot love Grandma then don’t criticize anyone or a group, which includes me. Please my family; pull the rafter out of your own eye. Gossip is worse than any cut of the sword. I have great pride in all of Grandpa’s achievements, they show character in which none of us have; yet I will strive to be like him and persevere. I have no shame to speak of him as a great man and I remember him walking with his dog Sarge down the long back driveway. I will always think of him under the grapes peeling the cactus on his old brown stool. I only hope to live as long as he. Remember when he cried alone and many walked in on him and laughed at the old man? I sat with him in those days. So now I watch grandma and my son sits next to me. Sadly to say my only family is no more than bickering strangers. Not even making the effort to see Grandma and drive down the hill and stay for even a day is what I see and this for goes for those cousins out there also. None of you even make the effort to come down and see her, not even once in a while. She is too old to drive and many have driven her up to the hills but should it not be the son or daughter to visit the mother? Is it so much to stay the day with her, in her own home? Don’t write your hate mail or send headhunters to neither my home, nor a call. Love Grandma now! That is your commandment not from any man but from God himself, she is to be looked after and come first in your busy lives. Crocodile tears won’t mean a thing when she has past on. It’s the tears and laughs you share with her now are what mean the most. Your actions speak louder than any word you can tell me. Just do. ***the mole***