Life is so NOT black-and-white, either/or, us-versus-them! Life is such a rich pageant, such a glorious heady brew of perfume and musk and spice and manure and mold and rot, sometimes all in the same little experience!...I used to let this stuff make me crazy, trying to find the patterns, the meaning, the reasons for the absurd details of daily existence.
Since I quit measuring everything against the big Sovereignty/Salvation yardstick, I try to just let things happen, and lately I'm delighted more and more at the quirky propinquity of good and bad in every experience. There IS no Ultimate Meaning. And I find that a good, no, a WONDERFUL thing! It makes the random rottenness more bearable, and the sweet sweeter.
You just never know what is going to happen. You could be horribly discouraged by a debilitating progressive disease, and lose your means of income, and find out someone you love is dying, and have to rush your kid to the e-room for stitches. Then you could get a check you didn't expect on a day when you need money RIGHT NOW. And your doctor could walk up to his billing lady and say, 'no, you charge these folks for a level one visit, not level 2' and save you $25 bucks, and offer to bill you!
Listen close: that ticking is NOT your heartbeat, it's the big dice, rollin&tumblin in the realm of Faith or Luck or Whatever. The good and the bad will both roll your way, some days wrapped in the same package. Trees always bloom beautifully in a cemetery.
For every door that closes, there is not necessarily another one opening. It's not that tidy or predictable. Those doors just slam open and shut with no rhyme or rhythm or reason. Nobody knows who (if anyone) is doing the slamming and knob-turning. Look for him, scan all directions: all you'll see, if you see anything at all, is the hem of an indefinite garment disappearing out of the corner of your mind.
The doors extend in all directions, into infinity. If you look hard enough, it can be downright paralyzing to discover how many of the doors are mirrored...and how easy to get lost in loving---or hating---the image reflected in those mirrors! Meanwhile those doors are still slappin' open&shut all around in all possible dimensions... If you decide to use an open door, my advice is: don't hesitate. You never know where or when the next one will come&go.
It helps me, when thngs come thick&fast, to think of my exploration of the Omniverse as a ride on a giant rollercoaster. Whenever it makes me queasy, I just stick up my hands and yell, "Whee!" It works fine, so long as I manage to keep down my lunch. The real trick is, to keep yelling 'whee!' while seeing my latest hurl hang in mid-air in that split-second infinity just before it splats on my head...when I can keep laughing while cleaning it off, I will be Enlightened.
This outburst brought to you courtesy of Dr. Jeff Kontak, who has no idea that his bit of human decency bought this ticket on the Coaster today...
Love as usual,