Raised a JW....No Hope?

by Scooby 3 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Scooby

    Thank you guys...all your posts are very much helping me to see where I need to get to personally in order to have any hope for my marriage. I did not get the truth until I met hubby at 20 yrs old. He grew up, fell away, and came back with me...(he witnessed to me). I think now that he married me becuz that's what you do when you date someone...you get married becuz of the truth. I would have married him regardless of the religion or not. (I guess that speaks volumes for my lack of jw'ness)

    Do you guys think that someone who grew up a JW can overcome their childhood even though they have never known anything else? Hubby keeps saying to me that he has no choices.......although he has not gone to anything(meetings, etc) in 3 months. I wonder if he will see the value in being married? He keeps saying now that "you might as well go out in the world and DO ANYTHING cuz your'e dead at Armaggedon" That is why we are separated maritally. He figures....what the *%()*)_$!!!

    However, because I did not grow up in it.... I saw and see the VALUE of a marriage and that committment. Be honest with me guys and hit me straight in the bean......

    What are my chances of having a normal, healthy, loving marriage with an x-jw who was raised in it with that attitude? Hubby has always looked at truth as holding him back....I'm not sure who his pre-cult self is??? I am working on myself right now....but am really concerned about my chances of my current fantasy that he will grow out of this crap and see the other side?

    Thank you for your help guys......I for once feel like I can talk before someone telling me I have an attitude prob.


  • PurpleV

    Do I have this right... hubby doesn't attend meetings anymore but he still believes it's "the truth(TM)"??

    He keeps saying now that "you might as well go out in the world and DO ANYTHING cuz your'e dead at Armaggedon

    He needs to be deprogrammed. .

    Can you get him to read Crisis of Conscience?

    I was raised in "the lie" and I have a built a perfectly fine life away from that horrible organization. So there's hope.

  • calamityjane

    Hi Scooby.

    Like PurpleV asked. Would your husband read Crisis of Conscience?

    Could you get him to look this forum up so he can get some help and support from us.

    Most of us have been in your husband's position. My Husband and I were raised as JW's from birth, now that we're out we are living a happy normal life, and much happier on the marital side of it all.

    He needs a support group, and your probably the only one right now, so go to him and help him see the light. My thoughts are with you in your time of wanting to keep your marriage together.

    Please keep us posted.

  • Scout

    HI Scooby,

    Another thing you might mention to your husband is the March healing workshop with Steve Hassan (see the Free Minds website). Perhaps if he hears others talking about how they have survived post JW it would help him.

    I can relate to your husband because I too was raised in the "truth". All their beliefs are ingrained in your mind - and until you can allow yourself to talk about them and realize that it won't bring "reproach upon Jehovah's name" - it will help you to get healthy and enjoy your life.

    You are doing the smart thing - getting help for yourself and getting support from others.

    Keep in touch & I think we may be in the same neck of the woods - so if you need a friend, give me a call.


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