Hi folks, I have not commented for awhile but I do stop by a few times a week to catch up and see whats new. I also find the advice given to others is at times helpful to me also...Now about my fade no meetings, service or any contact in over 3 months but they keep trying to call and at first they would leave a message on my voicemail but now they just keep hanging up and I know its them (I screen ALL of my calls). Recently they stopped by (in the evening) and buzzed me and thankfully no one let them in, I live in a locked secure building. This must be what its like to be hounded by bill collectors or the IRS, these people are not ignorant they have to know I'm done and yes gone! But alas the CO visits and compels the elders to go after the inactive ones. Most JWs are decent people and I mean no disrespect to them but sometimes I just want to write the letter and disassociate my self from this insanity however fading is still the best way to play this game for now. I do have family that were never in this religion but I cant really tell them how it is because at some point it would spread to the witnesses in the family and churn up more crap, I only want to fight one battle at a time, congregation first then WT family members second after I have faded a few more months...OK this became a bit of a rant but I do thank all of you for sharing your views, for me knowing that others survive and can thrive helps.
Update on my fade.
Thank you for sharing. Glad to hear that your fade is going well.
This must be what its like to be hounded by bill collectors or the IRS, these people are not ignorant they have to know I'm done and yes gone! But alas the CO visits and compels the elders to go after the inactive ones.
I'm not sure that "compelled" is the right word. Elders don't get paid for the work they do, so I think it's more a way for them to check the box that they went to you. Also, the WT loves having the last saying in everything, and they have a reputation to keep, so they may still continue to visit you or call you until they make contact with you. They hate hate hate people leaving in their own terms.
Most JWs are decent people and I mean no disrespect to them but sometimes I just want to write the letter and disassociate my self from this insanity however fading is still the best way to play this game for now.
I agree. There are a lot of very good people in that organization. Too bad that researchers and professionals in the matter have well established that the best person in the world can be very harmful under the wrong influence. I agree, there are a lot of great people, but they are doing a lot of stupid things under misguided advice.
give it at least a year....
It was 3 years before they stopped the obligatory memorial visit
15 years no contact except running into people at the store
I hear comments likes your so often. I have to say my fading story (well it was more I just stopped going) is quite different. I have been physically gone nearly 4 years now. Not one elders visit nothing. Only had 2 dubs visit, and one of those visits I was left with mags. I sort of can't understand what happened considering right up to that time I was attending meetings regularly for 40 years, and was publishing.
Sometime in the future Logan your going to have to tell someone perhaps an elder that your don't believe enough to keep on being involved and its not fair to those who do to think that your fully and completely committed.
Do so with respect and a quiet demeanor will calm the waves, eventually they will catch on and who knows maybe they will respect you in return.
Hang in their buddy the longer the fade the easier it gets for you to mentally disassociate yourself from this mind controlling excuse of a religion.
Hi Logan, I know I'm repeating what may sound like a fader's mantra, but it works;
If anyone confronts/calls on you, do not be afraid and ignore them. Stand your ground and confidently (but humbly!) say, "Thank you so much for your concern, but I have private & personal issues which I can't discuss with anyone at the moment. If things change, I promise I'll call you." (rinse & repeat if pushed!)
You are drawing a line in the sand which they know they cannot cross - but only if you say nothing more.
The visits and questionings will abruptly cease, thanks to the K.H. gossip machine. I wish you well.