When you left the JW's

by freedom96 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • freedom96

    When you left, or were planning to leave, did you plan your exit?

    For myself, I had created a life outside the organization. New friends, etc, so when I did the fade away, it was not as harsh as it has been for others. Oh sure, there were still the problems with my ex, who is a witness, and still causes problems, and there have been other sticky situations, but I prepared myself. I did not allow myself to ever be so reliant of the WTS that I could not leave them.

    For myself, my new friends were not even like a support group. Many had no idea what was going on when I left the WTS. I just had my life outside, and enjoyed it fully when I left.

    Did any of you do the same thing?

  • acsot

    I am in the process of building my life outside the borg. My elderly JW mother is my reason for attending the occasional meeting, but as I mentioned in another post (don't know how to link it - it's entitled Another Victory!!), she's loosening up a lot!

    I'm taking evening classes at university and attending various cultural/ethnic events with people at work. Life is so much better!

  • praying_mantis

    Hmmmm....I remember consulting an ex elder on one of these forums and he recommended "fading out". It causes less trauma. SO...what I did was move to Texas. I had divorced my husband (unscripturally...he was the son of an elder so they of course were slightly pissed off). I lived in Texas with my boyfriend for about 5 months, then moved back to Canada. Lo and behold, the elders got wind that I had moved back, and tracked me down at my parents house. They needed "confirmation"....from either me or my family members, that I had indeed been living with someone in Texas. When I asked them why, they said that my exhusband was planning on remarrying. What did this have to do with me? According to them, the marriage vows can be broken..AFTER DIVORCE. Ha! To make a long ugly, pissed off story short, I ended up DA'ing myself. My exhusband has lived happily ever after with a spiritually strong little blonde gal. I on the other hand got a GREAT Valentines present from my husband. :) So much for fading out and a planned exit. Nicole

  • Swan

    Oh yes! I planned it all out and had a support network all set up and ready to go when I dropped my DA letter into the box. Even so, it was still very difficult, but at least I had someone to talk to about it.


  • SheilaM

    No, we didn't plan we had no idea that we were leaving until they became asses. We are still working on building our life and it's been almost 8 years

  • berylblue

    I was disfellowshipped. Although I didn't go to many meetings at the time anyway. But I had no "doubts" then either.


  • pr_capone

    I just stopped showing up one day. I had my girlfriend and my best friend "worldly" for support. Probably the most difficult time I have faced yet. I am still building a life away from the WT. I'm getting there slowly but surely.


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