I faded from the jws thirteen months ago and since then I have only been called on by two elderly pioneer "sisters" a couple of times.No loving shepherding calls from the elders,not even once.I always felt out of place at the kh because I didn't have any friends there.Never once got invited to social gatherings the whole year I went there.What's with all the clique $hit?That's about as far from Jesus' teachings as I've ever seen.Now today out of the blue I have a message on my machine from one of the elder's mother.I didn't call her back.Wonder what came over her to think of me anyway?Oh well,you all might not understand my feelings but I feel better now that I sat down and typed it out.
I feel you there, man. Of the 7 years I've gone to the hall I've only been to one social. I think the only one they've had in 7 years. heh. One thing about my hall, though: there were only 2 people in the whole hall between the ages of 14 and about... 25. Me and... mmmm.... Brandon. I wonder if he still has the 5.0... It was the weirdest thing. heh
Otherwise, yeah, our hall was very cliquish. certain groups sit on certain sides, no one waivered. Like territories. :) *creats spinoff thread*
I can certainly relate to how you feel, dsgal. I grew up in a town with 2 KH's: one English, one French. They never associated with each other. Also, the cliques in the English hall, ( mine), were unbelievable. At one point my sister and I were the only ones not invited to a certain youth gathering. My sister made a point to mention it to the Elders. The next party they had she was invited, and I wasn't. The really amazing thing is that when I asked my sister why I wasn't invited again, it was the first she had given any thought to it. (And it was nothing to do with me being bad association... that came about 5 years later, due in large part to their making me realize their love was so conditional........ lol)
That is one of the biggest problems with the JW's, they have NO idea of what LOVE really is. How hard is it to love people that feel exactly the same as you... NOT hard at all.
Fact is, that no matter how many people reply to this, there are many who know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Try not to let it get you down. You have to understand that the JW's DO NOT really understand what they are doing. They basically feel that they are the chosen people, simply by being a JW. Whether they follow Jesus' example, like you said, probably almost never crosses their mind.
You have to look at them as having the mentality of a person who gets the letter from Ed McMahon, and believes that they already are going to receive the $10,000,000 automatically, ignoring the rules, odds and fine print.
I TRULY believe that 95% of JW's are very nice people, just extremely misguided. Hey, it's like this: the entire JW org. is like a coach that finds some people that really love basketball, and immediately says yes we can win a championship, and blindly follows that path, never being able to realize that they should have some KNOWLEDGE of the game first. They never DO learn the game but spend the rest of their effort believing that they are winning. It's fun until you realize it's a lie. Some, unfortunately, never do. I think you have realized that.
I hope that analogy makes sense to you..... it certainly does to me... lol
Feel free to e-mail me if you found anything I said helpful.. I am fairly new to this site myself, but I can honestly say that what I say and virtually all others say is pure and loving. May this help you in your tough times.... X0X0X0X0X0X0X0 Brad
No loving shepherding calls from the elders,not even once
Sadly, the calibre of "Shepherding" is abysmal within the org. OK, I know elders are always busy, they have families etc..... but they so often fail at their core activity which is to shepherd their flock. Many would rather spend their limited shepherding time with an old lady who will give them a cup of tea and homemade cake , and tell them they are wonderful - rather than deal with the genuine concerns of of the dissaffected .
You are not alone. The elders harassed me for two months straight with reference to my judicial committee. Then after they Publically reproved me, not so much as a phone call. Not even after I attempted suicide. Not one call. Not one visit to me in the hospital. When I finally stopped going to the meetings, no one cared at all. I never received a sheperding visit, and I didn't move away or change my phone number. I recently saw one of the elders from my JC at a restaurant. He had a chance to speak a word of encouragement (if he was a real shepherd) He looked dead at my face, and then looked away nervously. I feel you....
Hugs and Kisses
Elders love JWs like weasels love chickens.
Thanks to all of you who replied.I will probably never get over the hurt they caused me but it makes me feel better to know there are others who understand where I'm coming from.
dsgak welcome, vent all you want. You need to rid yourself of all the toxins.