The Rainbow Promise

by Funchback 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Funchback
    Funchback

    One day, the biblical God decided all humanity, less 8 individuals and some animals, should die via mass drowning, including infants, children and physically and mentally disabled people.

    He expected rational people to listen to a seemingly oddball old man and enter a giant box filled with wild animals. "God told me to warn you. Enter this thing and you will live". Who of us today would enter a giant boat that a strange man says will save our lives?

    After drowning everyone and everything, God creates a rainbow and says to Noah. "I promise I will never globally drown people again. I swear. Oh, wait. Let me clarify: I will permit floods globally, just not all at the same time. Anyway, check out this rainbow I just made. Pretty cool, right? Just remember, if you live in an area that gets hit with a devastating flood and you have to climb on your rooftops and wait to be rescued while other people are drowning, I will show you my rainbow to remind you that I am so loving".

    "God, thank you for promising that you will never destroy humans again", said Noah

    "Wait...What? I never said that! I promised I will never cause one big global flood. I'm still going to destroy humans again in the future, just not with water. Next time, I will use...let's see, hmm...Ah! Fire and rocks! I will burn everyone to a crisp or smash them into pieces!", said God.

    "What is your problem, God?", Noah asked.

    "I dunno. I'm so confused. I always feel regret after killing people. But's it's their own fault! People need to be taught a lesson. Even after I obliterate most humans in the future, I will destroy some more a thousand years after that. But, anyway, check out this shiny new rainbow".

    This is one of the many reasons why I could never align myself to God. Even if He did exist, I would have nothing in common with Him.

    Have a great day, everybody!

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped

    Lol, well said! If only an omniscient god could have seen that the gay community would later take his rainbow as their own. How pissed off would he be.

  • Funchback
    Funchback
    If only an omniscient god could have seen that the gay community would later take his rainbow as their own. How pissed off would he be.

    So true, dubstepped. LOL!!!

  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    So I wonder if God will feel regrets after the other thousand years and want to take his promise back and start killing humans again? Clearly he enjoys watching humans suffer.

  • stuckinarut2
  • stuckinarut2
  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    This is one of the many reasons why I could never align myself to God. Even if He did exist, I would have nothing in common with Him.

    As I read your post, this came to mind:


  • Hairtrigger
    Hairtrigger

    Well the moral of the story dear Hobo ...rainbows often morph into boomerangs!

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