I'm Such A Smoothie.

by Englishman 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman

    It's true. I have hardly any hair on my body at all. I once took weeks trying to grow a beard and tash, after 6 months I shaved it off and Her Ladyship didn't even notice. When girls kiss me on the cheek they exclaim: "Oh isn't your skin so lovely and soft!"

    I can shave once every 3 days and no-one thinks that I look unshaven. My chest-hair is like a Chinese football team, 7 a side. If I engage in a spot of arm -wrestling I can see people staring fascinated at my smooth arms, wondering if I am really, well, sort of a bit girlie..

    Oh yes, why am I writing this?

    Well, I was just looking at some pics of our semi-apostate barbie last year, and it reminded me of how I decided to wear shorts, it being a warm day an' all. Suddenly, I had a flash back to a certain unidentified lady present, who said to me in a loud voice:

    "I've never met a man who waxed his legs before!"

    Englishman. (In a rather self-depracating mode at the moment, still reeling from being beaten fair and square by the Aussies )

  • Vivamus


  • Elsewhere

    For a moment there I thought you were going to describe how you are beverage made of fruit, berries and shaved ice all mixed together in a blender.

  • Duncan


    Just watch out that your brother doesn't go robbing you of your Birthright with the old "feel-this-dead-rabbit" trick with your old, near-blind patriarch father.


    edited to say - oops, wait a minute! That doesn't make any sense does it? It was the smoothe bloke who did the robbing, by employing the old "feel-this-dead-rabbit" trick.

    Well, in that case e-man, why don't YOU do the Birthright robbing off your hairy brother. - Be a bit of a laugh, wouldn't it?

    Edited by - Duncan on 13 February 2003 12:25:25

    Edited by - Duncan on 13 February 2003 12:30:7

  • Auntie Flame
    Auntie Flame

    So is Buddah (sp?), E-man.....so is Buddah....heheheh

    Auntie Flame

  • LovesDubs

    Hey...smooth is cool babe. My grandfather, Walter O'Higgins, was a fair lad, with nary a hairy on his bod either...cept a scrufty beard after a week :) Hairless arms and legs. The native americans are also pretty hairless...as was his maternal grandmother who was a Blackfoot.

  • SheilaM

    My side of the family has a lot of Indian so my Dad and brother are not hairy, my Thunder can't grow a beard but is a hairy dude LOL wasn't when we married though

    <edited for the spelling error that Marcos caught LOL>

    Edited by - SheilaM on 13 February 2003 16:9:27

  • Marcos

    I'm sorry, SheilaM but I just had to comment.

    my Thunder can't grow a beard but is a hairy dud LOL wasn't when we married though

    I never got the impression he was a DUD! Hang in there, I'm sure he WANTS to improve

    Marcos (of the smooth dude class)

    P.S. My computer can't spell worth a darn either!

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