by somebody 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • somebody

    Greetings all,

    I was sitting here one day, after reading a confusing conversation that was going on on one of the JW ONLY sites, actually feeling sorry for JWs in certain situations. Since I have found love , I have a whole different outlook on life, and my heart goes out to those who feel that they have to carry the heavy yolk of the WTS.

    Some JWs are stuck not being able to date or remarry because their spouses had left and divorced them and then refused to see them ever again. One man eventually could not even find his ex-wife, and therefore, there would only be one way for him to date a "sister" that he had met and felt was the one woman he had been waiting for all his life. I'll get to the only way he could after I show you some views of the WTS. Here is "spiritual food" I found in a Question From Readers in a Watchtower. It was a female writing to the society that a brother ( who's wife divorced him after he became a member of the JW sect ) she knew was dating someone, even though he knew he wasn't "scriptually free" to do so because he was only "legally divorced". She wanted to "help" him
    (yeah...right). Actually, here is the question rather than going on to explain:

    "When a friend of mine became a Christian, his wife divorced him and refuses even to see him. Though he realizes from the Bible that he is not free to remarry, he has been dating someone. What does the Bible indicate about such dating, and how can I best help him?"

    Here is what the JWs leaders said: And I've highlited certain areas about how this "brother' was suppose to act towards the ex-wife ( who is still his wife in God's eyes ).

    8/1/1980 WT

    In the eyes of the government, once such a divorce becomes final the two persons are "single" again. But God's Word presents a different view. Jesus said: "Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication [porneia, gross sexual immorality], and marries another commits adultery." (Matt. 19:9) So if a government grants a legal divorce when no Scriptural basis for it exists, and no immorality has since occurred, God still views the two as man and wife.
    This knowledge helps Christians to appreciate how a person who is not Scripturally free to remarry should conduct himself or herself. It should be just as he or she would act if still legally married and living with a mate. While particularly referring to marital relations, Proverbs 5:15-21 makes it clear that a married man should not pursue romantic interests in other women: 'Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone. Be happy with your wife and find your joy with the girl you married. Let her charms keep you happy; let her surround you with her love. Why should you give your love to another?

    Obviously, the guy CAN'T possibly conduct himself in the way of being happy with the woman who still is supposedly seen as his wife in God's eyes, or find any joy with her, not let her surround him with love if she "refuses to even see him". So that advice was just downright stupid.

    Now supposing that this poor guy took the advice and he somehow found his ex-wife and he "acted as he was still legally married and living with the mate" whom he is "still married in God's eyes" to. What would happen if they in time resumed a sexual relationship? One would think that that would be fine if they kept in mind that the WTS said that if a couple are legally divorced, but not scriptually, then they are still husband and wife in God's eyes...right?

    Not suprizingly, considering we ARE talking about the advice given by a printing factory here, that would be wrong too.


    Unit 5 c

    A divorced couple (even if only legally divorced) who
    have sex relations with each other commit fornication.
    (Heb. 13:4; w82 9/lp.31)

    Suppose that a JW gets divorced legally, and the person they divorced decides thay are going to stay single and lead a celibate life for the rest of his or her life. She or he has had it with marriage and just enjoys the freedom that goes along with singleness too much to ever want to marry again. That's all fine and dandy but what about the ex-spouse who finds themselves lonely for love and meets and KNOWS that a certain individual is the right one for them? They found their soulmate!!! Do they have to suffer because of the ex-spouses decision for to live a celibate and single life? They don't have too. According to their JW leaders, SIN WILL SET THEM FREE !!! unit 5c in the flocking book:

    "A person who commits adultery after having been
    divorced by his or her mate on unscriptural grounds would
    be Scripturally free to remarry, since he or she had already
    been rejected by the mate that obtained the divorce. "

    Of course, keep in mind that you may be punished by being handed over to Satan for about a year, but you can always pray that armegeddon doesn't arrive during the months you are handed to Satan by the members of your congregation. the end,,,I tried to sum all this up and heres what I gathered that the GB over the JWs is feeding to it's flock as to what their rules to those who are only legally divorced are on the subject...

    Ways to get a scriptual divorce according to the WTS:

    1. Have sex with the person you are unscriptually divorced from (leaving the two of you still married to in God's eyes) if you can talk them into it, because then it somehow becomes fornication [porneia, gross sexual immorality] in God's eyes.

    2. Have sex with the one you want to marry if they will agree to it because then it would be commiting adultry, even though you are divorced.

    3. Just go ahead and marry each other because that that will be commiting adultry or fornication no matter what you do. ( for at least the one who was legally divorced )

    And here is my advice to JWs out here who are in love but face a judging and condemming meeting by their elders if they even date or marry.

    Ignore the Watchtower's unreasonableness and stupidity and don't let go of love!!!!

    Anyone else confused yet?


    Edited by - somebody on 4 February 2003 11:41:52

  • Skeptic

    God still views the two as man and wife.

    The WTBS never ceases to amaze me. In another Q of R, they say that a divorced couple cannot have sex with each other. How bizarre, if "God still views the two as man and wife.

    Either the couple is married in God's eyes, and can have sex. Or they are not married, and therefore free to marry someone else. Where in the Bible is a third state, pseudo-marriage?


  • somebody
    Either the couple is married in God's eyes, and can have sex. Or they are not married, and therefore free to marry someone else. Where in the Bible is a third state, pseudo-marriage?


    Good question.

    The Watchtower Society fixed it so that NO MATTER WHAT, a person gets screwed.



  • happyout

    STOP IT!!!!!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (puts hands over ears and runs screaming from the room)

  • Skeptic
    The Watchtower Society fixed it so that NO MATTER WHAT, a person gets screwed.

    So true, gwen.


    Edited by - Skeptic on 4 February 2003 20:52:50

  • RedhorseWoman

    And lots of couples do exactly what has been suggested. There was a couple in our congregation who divorced. The ex-husband became a major apostate protestor in Brooklyn (which was, needless to say, a huge embarrassment to his ex-wife), but he never "committed adultery" or remarried.

    She met someone else--an elder from a different congregation--and they fell in love. They bit the bullet and got married. They were both disfellowshipped, but were reinstated as soon as the proscribed "repentance period" was completed.

    Totally ridiculous, but they thought they were following "God's" rules.

  • yrs2long

    I found myself in this unenviable position for almost 5 years. For me, going back to my ex-jw husband who was in good-standing was not an option because he was physically abusive. My only other option besides cheating? Waiting upon Jehovah.

    I wasn't stupid enough to have a child with my husband, but I did hope to have some in the future and yet for nearly 5 years, there I was, allowing my childbearing years to creep by while I awaited some resolution from 'Jehovah'.

    It's situations such as these whereby the society commits grave errors. They'd do so much better to stick to the things written, and not try to spell out policy for unwritten things like oral sex, beards and smoking.

    This calls to mind the situation of a sister whose jw husband would physically abuse her and yet somehow remain in good standing. However, later he gets disfellowshipped for smoking, something not directly prohibited by the bible.

    So....... beat your wife and you're let off on your own recognizance; smoke and you have to get the hell out of here!

    Go figure.

  • Francois

    This is so much gaseous material.

    We know that it is said at weddings, "what God has linked together, let no man put asunder."


    Divorce is happening all over the place.

    If God had anything whatsoever to do with joining two people together, you can bet your last dime those two people would STAY joined together until God himself permitted them to separate and be unique individuals again. The widespread fact of divorce PROVES that God has nothing whatever to do with the institution of divorce, and that the WTBTS has NO JUSTIFICATION to busy itself with other people's business when God certainly and obviously does not.


    STINKY PANTZ. I'm up to my limit of new posts. I"ve got my response ready but I can't post a new thread. Can you start one for me? Thanks. frank

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