“Forgiveness is the box with love the jewel inside”
So says Ms. Myss, Both are located in the fourth chakra of the body and it is admittedly hard to love , someone you cant forgive.
Jesus stated the two greatest commands were loving neighbor as your self and loving god. Yet when asked about prayer,how to pray, he never mentions love. He mentions forgiveness, that we ask for forgiveness and that we forgive others FREELY. Interesting he indicated , we would need outside help to accomplish this. Ms Myss , fully supports this idea.
Ironically this is where the love of YOURSELF comes in, when you are doing your daily observation of yourself, you need to ask , “do you love yourself enough,to not enter into negative thoughts about someone else. DO you love yourself enough, to allow negative energy not to be kept , but replaced by compassion, and love. Do you love yourself enough,to remove the OPPRESSOR, the one you need to forgive, and look at it as another science you don't understand, like gravity.
Examine the reasons you hold onto this item between you and another. There is MUCH POWER in the martyr type of woundology , where bonds are created with these wounds we hold onto. We can get people to feel sorry for us. We can hold this hurt like a trophy
There is some of this taking place here, on this forum. Before everyone gets upset, I struggle with it as well, as does the author MS. Myss admittedly. It takes time to get to forgiveness , its a process , a part of healing.
We are not asked to forgive santa claus, ITS real WORK and the work involved really has nothing to do with the person who we THOUGHT offended us. Its just another larger lesson , designed not to hurt us, but to teach us and help us develop strength and endurance.
There is much DANGER in continually speaking about past wounds. Using the illustration of a banker, we have allotted to us say $100.00 worth of energy each day. This is to fuel our creativity, maintain our health, and share with healthy relationships.
Our past is like a debt we cant pay off, if we are constantly hanging on to a history of traumas.
Say we have an incident from when we were a child , someone said to us, you will never be a good swimmer, this cost $5.00......we may have wished to have had Nike sneakers instead of Walmart brand , we would be further ahead today, we think....... This takes $20.00 a day, .......then , we have a few times growing up when we were slighted in our teens, $10 more dollars..........
Relationships that didn't work out well, unresolved issues in them, another $30-40.00 .........Our jobs require us to SACRIFICE ourselves and we feel , we deserve more from this entity. $20 more, so we are carrying all this BAGGAGE weighing us down,......
so we are left with 15-30 bucks to run our day maintain our relationships be creative and thrive.
Each day that goes by , there is INTERESTon these wounds......and sooner than later, our cell tissue pays the price, we become lethargic , and ill. We finance the past with the present days allotment of energy and we are not good company, we cant create anything for our current day.
Forgiveness , allows us to call our spirit back from the past to where it should be, the present time. It REENERGIZES us with the strength that we have never had before, to a point where you are looking for people to forgive , for the HIGH that is gained. You realize this POWER is not your own and the way you get THERE,to this point ,is daily observation and daily prayer. A discipline that you will set aside a time of day for you and the divine , to go over the day ahead or the day behind.
IF you carry the ILLS from today to tomorrow you are beginning the pattern of the financing, that's why its essential to do it daily.
There is a lot of fear involved here, because we know deep inside, that once we forgive, things WILL change, and in general , most people fear change. We know that when we say ......Ok, I will remove the idea that this hurt me personally, and see this was part of a bigger picture and it was for my growing in spirit and endurance, that our lives are not going to be the same anymore......give up the reason of why this happened . We need to trust in this GOD we have said we believe in , and this lack of control on our part frightens us.
When we change our system of belief about forgiveness, we are then giving way to change our value system entirely. With our past changed, we look to our days we live in a new way, not the same keeping track of who hurt us,this day. We become different people. The tapestry that was our previous life, has just lost a few chords. We replace them with new chords, a different way to operate, and our tapestry takes on a new level of energy.
This is where energy healing is effective, because prior to this modalities such as therapeutic touch, aromatherapy and crystals were just perfume like substances to our body. These treaments require a high level of energy to be effective.
With our new found energy , we may treat our relationships much different as well. We will act and react more consciously, and with the banking idea in mind we will look at people or situations and say .....sorry I cant afford you , your a $50 a day illusion , ........ which is one reason we cant reconcile the JW lifestyle, it doesn't work for us.
So life will never again be the same, we are existing at a higher level of energy.You get your self back to the present and you take THIS day....live this day, as its the ONLY one you have.
For those who cant come to grips with this right away, they choose to forgive half way so they can CONTROL the SPEED of this change.
Admitting to yourself , forgiveness is not easy , and no one wants to is a good start. Recognizing the fight that goes on between the heart and mind is also good to look at.
The mind(6th Chakra) will say...... yes, we need to forgive, it will go down to the heart (4th Chakra) and the heart says ..... NO way ,we aren’t doing that..get a new idea........ between the mind and the heart.........is the fifth chakra....your will
and most of us come to a point where we realize our will is very weak, and we don't have the strength to say to the heart ,...LISTEN to the mind....... this is an extremely conscious thing to do...not done in passing........ must be examined and practiced.......developing your will to a point that it is strong enough to not budge from your new found ideals is a life times work and is difficult on your own. Having divine help daily as a practice and discipline is highly recommended, by Ms. Myss
This may all seem very cold with no room for BIG hurts and tragedies. Ms. Myss indicates, when we find ourselves with this size hurt, we should seek out therapy, as a means to deal with this specific hurt , and give ourselves a time limit....... because you can , and you need to, in order to continue to heal. Therapy is a boat to get you across the river, not meant to be a lifelong pleasure cruise. That, is not healing. Give yourself 6 months , tell the therapist , THIS, is what I am here for , THIS, is what we will work on, and in six months WE ARE DONE.
There is one story about forgiveness Ms Myss relates on the “Why people don't heal and How they can” tape.
Her partner , Dr Norman Shealy( a Harvard neuroSurgeon) give seminars as does she. He was doing one on healing. A lady was carried in on a stretcher, and was placed on the floor as she was so weak she could not sit. She should have been in a hospice as she was ravaged with Cancer and had weeks to live. The doctors had given her no hope and she was just trying anything at this point.
So there she lay, listening to this healing seminar , and on the last day , there was a mediation done on forgiveness, where you had to go back into the past and mentally and spiritually call back all the spirit you could from the past woes. The mediation lasts about 1 hour. When it was over, this lady seemed unconscious, and they feared she had died, but she was still breathing, so they just gathered round her and held her hands and waited. After about twenty minutes, she opened her eyes, sat up, picked up her blanket and left to go home to LA.
They all stood there dumbfounded.
A few months later, Dr. Shealy, was giving a seminar in LA, and this woman picked him up at the airport. He said to her , you have to tell me, what happened to you at the seminar. Who knows why he waited?
She went on to say , during the meditation, she went all the way back to before she was married. It seemed her husband of 30 or so years, had been cheating on her since the day before her wedding. He was found with the maid of honor the day before. This hurt but in those days, things were a bit different than today, and she decided to go through with it.
As time went on, he continued to cheat and she knew it and others did too and she just looked the other way became a mother of two sons and focused on raising them. So while she was being super mom her energies were going in that direction and her body and mind tolerated this infidelity.
Time goes on and the boys grow and went into the service Korean war, I think it was, so while they were there, she couldn’t leave her husband then, for fear her sons would be upset and somehow be less than themselves on the battlefield. So the war ends, and the boys make it home safe and sound and within three months , her bodyµsãÍt erupts with cancer, all the past hurts just came out , the reasons for staying together were all gone now . She does kemo, she has surgery and she is diagnosed with inoperable cancer.
During this meditation, she had to go back to all those years of knowing that she was being cheated on. She had to go back to all those who said to her “just leave him “, all those who said “oh that is so sad.”.....she had to go back to her husband and say...”I FORGIVE YOU.”...... and she had to say to herself, “I forgive you “ as well. She had to say I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ,I LOVE THIS MAN. and she did.
I don't know that in our lives we will know someone with an example as this. I do know though that forgiveness works, asI have seen it personally yield strength ,I did not know existed.
And you know when you forgive an issue a situation or a person. Because when it is brought up, you feel NOTHING, no jaw clench, no pain in the stomach, no shortness of breath. You feel more strength at having been able to get past it.