What do I tell my parents?

truthseekers1

I have decided to no longer be a JW. This comes after spending all but 3 of my 36 yrs on this earth as one. Yes it is a huge step, but one I know I must make. Research I have done leaves me with no other choice. I am fine, yes happy with this choice. My wife and kids are all in it with me and we all agree that it is a cult and is destoying are lives. My problem is that I am very close to my parents who are very stong in the "truth". I am at a loss as to just what to tell them. I dont know if I should spell out everything I have found or just tell them I no longer agree with it all and leave it at that. Any suggestions would be great!!!!!

confusedjw

My advise is to fade away and not take a stand. Keep the link with your parents. You are feeling a bit like people do who come into the truth - they need to share. Resist the urge. Tell your doctor you are depressed so he can give you prozac or something. If you parents really push you show them the pills, say you are coping the best you can.

Don't cut the ties - you'll regret it later.

Elsewhere

JWs are funny in that they don't mind family who do not believe in the religion... so long as they don't actually say it.

I tried this for awhile... but could not stand it. When I did tell my family, the instantly started shunning me.

musky

truthseekers1, Welcome. You must have some fine parents, because they raised you to think for yourself obviously. I will always have a great respect for my parents, even though I don't share all of their witness beliefs. I was raised as a witness. It has usually helped me to go little steps rather than say everything all at once. That seems to put people on the defensive . I hope everything goes well with you and your family.

Granny Linda

I've been out so long that any advise would be better served from those more new to such a step.

I just wanted to congratulate you on a wonderful step in living life to the fullest. And that you have the support of your wife and children, for me, would far outweigh any possible repurcussions from parents. Remember, everyone makes their choices for good or ill. Be it parents or not.

Keep us posted, please.

granny

Funchback

This is a first (I think). Two newbies (truthseekers and confusedjw) both post for the first time on the same thread (the original post and the 1st response). One of those things that make you go 'Hmmmmmmm....'

truthseeker, my very good friend (badwillie) wanted to stop attending and he did the slow fade (sort of). Still, his family shuns him (mom and two sisters).

My advice: Do what you think you need to do.

found

You are so lucky your immediate family (wife and kids) is supportive! That will prove to be your strength for now. I would recommend that you don't do anything quickly, but the folks in the organization may make that difficault. You may be confronted, and if so, just say what comes to your mind--be honest! I have always believed "honesty is the best policy". Whenever I have lived otherwise, it was very difficault and the truth of the matter would come out eventually anyway (usually sooner than later). Having said that, I still would not be the aggressor in the conversation, let them come to you, it's easier.

confusedjw

Funchback - 'Hmmmmmm" right back at you - that is if you are implying something. I joined this after posting over at pioneeroutreach on yahoo. Someone recommended this website. I saw the post and said what I'm doing.

Hmmmmm

Confusedjw

wheelwithinwheel

Fade... let them ask why... tell them there are a lot of things troubling you... don't empty the whole barrel all at once, tell them 1 thing that upsets you at a time.

If you mention facts that are undeniable and simply say they are troubling you it will be difficult to d'a you. A C.O. visited us and wanted to know what was going on. We told him a lot of things were troubliing us like people getting told not to have kids now on their pension, 1975, the peace and security talks, king of the north and south etc. He couldn't deny any of the points that we told him upset us, and he couldn't d'f us for them ... after all we didn't teach them!

What do I tell my parents?

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