Need a good laugh? Here are the awards for Idiots of the Year...........
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When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would- be robber James Elliot did something that could only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
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The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around,
submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
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A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago, returned with his vehicle, only to find a woman had taken the parking space. You guessed it, he (understandably) shot her.
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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and generously offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the unsuspecting passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were highly excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The driver's clever deception wasn't discovered for three days.
Damn I love that one...
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An American teenager was admitted to the hospital recently, suffering from serious head wounds reportedly delivered by an on-coming train. When asked under what circumstances he had received the injuries, the young man calmly told police that he was trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he (albeit deservedly so) was struck.
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A mother took her teenage daughter to the doctor and requested an examination in the hopes of determining a cause for the girl's swollen abdomen. It only took the physician a short time before announcing, much to the mom's chagrin, "Your daughter is pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would
never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The good doctor, consciously deciding against
any attempt at mollification, turned to face the window and quietly studied the horizon. The mother became
enraged and demanded, "Stop gazing out the damn window! Haven't you been paying attention to me?"
"Yes, indeed, I was paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star miraculously
appeared in the East, and three wise men came. I was simply wondering if they would show up again.