Not sure where all this rambling I'm going to do will end up, but I'm sure there will be words reminding myself how grateful I am for recovery from religious abuse.
Some may remember I orginally came aboard sites such as this doing research for a fence-riding JW sibling. After years of no contact we were able to begin anew. Which was a good thing because we had always been so close. Anyhow, last summer when this sister wrote an e-mail full of confusion and what sounded like depression to me, I wrote back stating in no uncertain terms my thoughts about that religion today. And of course that was the end of any further association...until yesterday.
Although we live miles apart when my sister and her husband went to visit his daughter, they would also go to the same chiropracter as we do. And that doctor just happens to be a childhood friend of my husband. This whole scenerio is so funny at times...sorry guys, when I do write, I'm longwinded.
"Doc" mentioned how my brother-in-law was going to have open heart surgery. Yesterday when my sister went to see Doc, he told her that I was moving out of state at month's end and she might call and let me know her husband died last Friday. So when she called asking to stop by on her way home, it was great hearing her voice.
During that visit I made comment about how good it would be if we sister's could get together again. This move will put me within 20 miles of the youngest one who refuses me at each turn. This ridiculous situation started at least 12 years ago, and my twice attempts at amends have been denied. Guess there was that moment of relapse - I forget my status...Disfellowshipped
OMG! Writing this has made me start chuckling. Humor through paradox helps my sanity.
What I have accepted as a self-truth is knowing this move encompasses many pending changes that are all positive. And if that includes seeing my younger sibling, so be it. I like how my surrogate mother expressed it. Today I have No Fear. Hummmm. That's cool.
Nearly 16 years ago at my worst mentally, physically, spritually, this family accepted me wholeheartedly. and have witnessed the transformation. So when 'mom' mentioned having no fear, I could reconize that aspect of change. Damn, that felt good.
Too many years spent in bondage to the mindset of not only JW's, but anyone lurking about just waiting to take advantage of innocence. It comes with life. And I do believe these sickening religious do-gooder's might be better served trying to learn how it is many like myself - make them seem like piker's in the game of LOVE. Screw em.
It's funny as hell - I'll still hit the bong at times, and my dear, sweet sister that just lost her husband, can stay on Prozac for another 12 years. LIFE. What a wonderfully grand adventure in getting to know ourself. It's pretty damn special if ya ask me.
And guess what? My life is soooooo ok with out those people that being disfellowshipped in their eyes doesn't mean diddly squat shit to me this day. We in this home practice the Magik of Love. Nothing more then what they would preach at us. Only difference is, our kind of love sure as heck is nicer then their interpetation. Or perhaps I've just made my life better by finding out what the hell makes me, as Jack Nicholson said in that one movie..., "It makes me feel good about me."
So for any of you newbies and/or lurkers...I have a testiomony to offer the world. It's how I live my life. And who else is suppose to be responsible? Them? I think NOT today.
Thanks guys for being here for this old lady. Geezzzz. At least I'm still smiling
granny, from the "Keep's Learning Klass."