family matters

by zev 5 Replies latest social relationships

  • zev

    I've decide to share with y'all a letter i wrote to my sister. Our relationship has been strained of late, and I needed to get a start to fixing that. We lost 2 family members to death in the last week, and it made me realize how far we have grown apart over the years. Here goes....
    {Names changed to protect the innocent}{namely, me }

    i didn't realize i "hadn't been told things. untill this past weekend. mom dropped that bomb on me. so i didnt know what was what, [like i thought i DID] and decided that we will have to clear our own air. these past few weeks have made me realize some things. yes, i am NOT perfect, never claimed to be. and it wasn't so much the passing of {a relative},
    it was the passing of {another reletive}. i've probably seen him more than you have beeing in the same business that he was and i am.
    seen him a couple of times over the years, untill he moved permently out to {a west coast state}. {forgive my bad spelling please}
    it got me to thinking that our whole family, myself included, as well as those not so close to our family, like {an aunt} and such, has some sort of hang up about staying in touch with each other. especially their own brothers and sisters. now i dont know exactly why, and i dont mean the kind of staying in touch that has all the family gossip involved, cause i don't go for that stuff, and i think you already know that. just the regular stuff. and yes i
    am guilty of that. blood is blood. and we should never forget our
    family, brothers, sisters mothers, fathers, ect. sitting down at that table yesterday, made me realize for the first time how much our family has grown over the years. it shocked me actually. i leaned over and said to {my borg controlled wife}, dang,i have a huge family. first time for everything i guess. I am more open minded now than i ever have been, the years of seeing certain things have done that to me. changes and experience have changed me. I make no excuses. all i can say is i'm sorry. i have screwed up. the reason
    i sent out that email to everyone was to get a start on getting it all
    together. a first step, i hope in the right direction.
    i will listen. obviously, i don't know all the details, or i didnt ask the right questions. either way information was kept from me. i dont know why. but we can resolve that together.

    maybe i make it sound worse than it really is. but not knowing or speaking to you about it and hearing everything 3rd hand is and was the wrong thing for me to form opinions with.

    i guess she didn't. you can fill me in with what you want me to know. i'm comfortable with that, and as i've learned over the years, i'll keep whatever is said between us exactly as that, between us. period.

    i would NEVER do that. i wasn't and never have been into making a scene with my family. i do have other concerns though that DO NOT involve you. i struggled with that "concern" for the whole day yesterday and managed to be civil. we'll talk about that another time.

    Lets not wait till things like that happen to see each other again. i know its hard, we all have our own lives, and soon i imagine i'll have a rug rat around her that {my borg controlled wife, soon to be a grandma} will be drooling over all the time, but lets not let this happen anymore, ok?

    a change in subject for just a minute. i don't know quite how to say this, because I cannot tell anyone, including mom and dad. and especially {MBCW}. so this part is for email only. I cannot discuss this in ear shot of anyone. its very important. I have made discoveries. I have had questions and doubts for many years. this has to do with jw's. I was at one time many years ago an ministerial servant {ms} I stepped down, because of what exactly I couldn't say. something's bothered me. I didn't have the tools I have now,
    mainly the internet and search tools and w.t. cd roms with the pubs on them. until a few months, maybe 6 in all, I refused to read certain material because the "org." says watch out for it, the internet is so dangerous. nothing like telling someone, not to look at some thing, to make them go and bloody well look. so I did. and what I'm finding out is not good. in fact its downright depressing. I'll give you one site to look at, its the reason I even started to look into what I have believed in all these years with out question. Reports of what i found on this site started me on a campaign for more knowledge. its damn scary.

    don't be to shocked at what you see, just a warning. its heart breaking really. after reading about this, I started delving deeper. I bought a book written by a former
    governing body member who was axed for eating with a disassociated business partner. another true life experience, that I wish you could read, but is not available on the net, yet. I started building a web site about all this, like so many others out there. and I stopped for lack of time and information. for the time being. you may be bored with this stuff, but I have to talk to somebody, I cant keep this locked in me forever. each day for me is a roller coaster of emotions, that you cant begin to imagine for me. and I cannot share this knowledge with anyone or it will destroy my
    relationship with friends, and my immediate family. again, I'm not offering excuses here, I'm just giving you a small look into what has been going on with me. and I haven't even told you the good stuff, the details of cover-ups and deception, it would blow you away. anyways, look at that site, look at every page. please tell me what you think.
    that's all for now. please keep in touch, and let me know when you home at night, I'd love to call and chat with you soon.

    Your Brother Zev

    Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class

  • somebody

    Hi zev,

    Thank you for sharing your personal matter with us. I'm sorry about the loss of your 2 family members.

    I'm so glad that you're taking steps to try and mend your family ties! I realize you can't go back and make up for lost years, but to start anew is wonderful. I'm sure your sister will be happy to have her brother back in here life. Even if it's back to the bickering that usually comes with being siblings!

    I hope your sister gets in touch with you soon, now that you've opened your heart to her, and gave her a hint as to what kind of emotional suffereing you've been living through lately. Please let us know how your sister responds to your mail. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed, (Oh yeah...we ain't supposed to do that!....I'll just cross my toes instead) and hoping that all goes well for you.

    the reason
    i sent out that email to everyone was to get a start on getting it all
    together. a first step, i hope in the right direction.

    What was that about? ( I'm nosy ) Are you setting up a family get-together?

    somebody thoughts are with you, especially at this time.

  • zev
    the reason
    i sent out that email to everyone was to get a start on getting it all
    together. a first step, i hope in the right direction.
    What was that about? ( I'm nosy ) Are you setting up a family get-together?.

    I sent an email to everyone in the family to get accurate phone numbers and addresss and vital information that I just didn't have.
    People move, change numbers and stuff all the time and sometimes the "network" isn't as efficiant as i would like it.

    I'll let you know what happens. As of yet, no reply, but thats ok.

    Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class

  • Angharad

    Dear Zev

    I'm so sorry to hear of your losses, we'll be thinking of you.

  • zev


  • mommy

    I am glad you are able to trust us with your personal info, it is hard to do sometimes I hope that you and your sister are able to have a relationship. I am from a large family, and understand the seperation of such. There are 2 of my sisters I don't have contact with, just because of differences of opinion. As an adult I am able to decide if I allow them in my life. But it is good to be able to have a choice.
    Good luck to you, they are gonna love you

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