Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Joe

by Mum 2 Replies latest social relationships

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  Mum

  This morning the mailman brought me a package containing my Aunt Lizzie's dishes. Aunt Lizzie was actually my grandfather's aunt. I was lucky to have a multi-generational family for most of my life. Aunt Lizzie actually died in the mid 1960's, when I was still a teenager. At the time, I was a JW (not to mention a teenager), and, to my discredit, took her death as a matter of course, considering her to be ancient at the time of her death. After Lizzie died, Joe lived on for quite a few years.

  When I was very small, I lived with my grandparents on a small farm. We left the farm and moved in with my grandfather's Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Joe some time before I started school. My grandparents were a big help to their elderly relatives who had no children of their own. Uncle Joe would take me to school every morning and wait and watch as I walked across the school yard and up two long flights of steps before he went back home.

  My grandparents lived with Uncle Joe until he died in the late 1970's. I was still a JW but attended Joe's funeral (in a church!) anyway.

  My grandparents inherited what Joe had. They gave the house, which had been paid off for many years, to my sister, who mortgaged it, gambled away the money, moved to another state, and ended up with nothing to show for it. The good part is that my nieces had a home while they were in elementary and high school.

  I was given some of Aunt Lizzie's kitchen items, but these were missing after I left my JW husband and went back to collect my personal belongings. I believe his JW girlfriend took them because she is the only one who would have had access to them. But that is another story.

  Anyway, I am grateful that my mother kept the set of dishes and I now have them. I wish I could tell Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Joe that I'm sorry for my cult-induced insensitivity to them when I could have been a source of comfort and help.

  "Shower the people you love with love." - James Taylor

  Happy New Year!

  SandraC
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  LongHauler

  Seems to me a lot of JW's, active or otherwise, wind up regreting the effect of the WT dogma on thier non-witness relatives. My father is a good example. At 61 years of age with a broken marriage and a strained at best relationship with his kids, he is facing a very uncertain future. When the WT banned somking, My grandfather who had been smoking for years, refused to quit. After his disfellowshipping everything continued as it had been for years, no shunning or breaking of family ties. After all, my grandfather had never tried that on my dad's sister. She had left the cult in her late late teens, having gotten married. In the summer of 1987 that years district assembly had featured a talk about how witnesses were supposed to handle disassociated and disfellowshipped persons, even family. The crux of the speach was that if you continue to associate with them you could be dissfellowshipped as well. So in front of his wife and two children, one of them only eight years old( me), He told his father that he could no longer have any association with his family, unless he quit smoking and asked to be re-instated. It was a blow that was felt by everyone, and really was the point at which my dad became isolated. He, my mother, and my grandparents were the only witnesses in the family. He continued this pattern of shunning, even after his sister was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away December 24, 1994. You could see in his eyes the realization that he had thrown away what time he had with her. Even though the witness in him will deny it, saying that it only means that he will have to wait for the new system to see her again. My grandfather has passed on now, after a lengthy bout with heart disease. My grandmothers health is slowly fading as well. The experience of growing up in the cult, and the fear, isolation, and the pain of trying to deprogram yourself has left my sister and I very close. We also are able to have a good relationship with our mother. But as for my dad, trying to repair all the bridges he burnt will be next to impossible.
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  Debz

  I wish I could tell Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Joe that I'm sorry for my cult-induced insensitivity to them when I could have been a source of comfort and help.
  
  "Shower the people you love with love." - James Taylor

  
  

  The experience of growing up in the cult, and the fear, isolation, and the pain of trying to deprogram yourself has left my sister and I very close. We also are able to have a good relationship with our mother. But as for my dad, trying to repair all the bridges he burnt will be next to impossible.

  
  Thats sad Mum........
  
  
  And LongHauler ...its good to hear you have `good` r`ships with your mother and sister. I have been out over 20yrs and `shunned` by my parents and three sisters for most of that time until 2 saw the light and left about 5/6 yrs ago.....the only problem is no matter how hard we try we can`t seem to get close again..its all to unfamiliar and seems like to much has gone under the bridge..we do try but it will never be as good as I imagine its supposed to be with family!!