Who Deserves a Family-Hating Award?

blondie

Dilbert was very interesting today. Who teaches people to hate family members (love less according to the WTS)? Who teaches people that family members are bad association? Who teaches that their only "real" family are at the kingdom hall?

Blondie

Pathofthorns

The cartoon is funny but I guess it hits a bit too close to home to laugh that much.

I am finding the more time passes that I am becoming increasingly resentful of my family's shunning and less understanding and tolerant of the reasons why.

I realize as more time passes we are becoming strangers. If ever they were to leave by some bizarre stroke of luck, I wonder if I can forgive them. I wonder if we even know each other anymore. Perhaps I deserve that award too.

Path

blondie

I guess it is a little strong, Path. I ask, "did we ever know each other in the first place, or only what we thought we should be."

Choosing not to chase after people who make it clear they don't want to be around you is not hating them, it is protecting yourself from their abuse.

How many times does a person have to punch you before you wise up and don't get in punching range?

Blondie (who is still in and hears the hateful talk from JW mouths about their non-JW family)

Pathofthorns

You are right in that we never really did know each other. Beyond the "business" of JW life nothing else was considered to be of any real importance.

So when we parted ways, and I made sure they understood that it was due to THEIR intollerance and not mine, I missed them very little. I just moved on like they were never really there because they never were.

I do know that family is very important in life and I was raised with those strong ideals. I guess I just think it is a shame that those strong ideals I was raised with evaporated so quickly when they were put to the test.

Path

blondie

It is sad, Path. My family already treats me as if I'm DF'd and had done nothing to deserve it. Others in the congregation have observed it and been recipients as well. I have a sick family that "the truth" has not cured, only given them another weapon to hurt each other with.

I have just found "new family."

NWT

Proverbs 27:10

Better is a neighbor that is near than a brother that is far away.

NWT

Proverbs 18:24

There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.

NLT

Proverbs 18

24 There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

CEV

Proverbs 18

24 Some friends don't help, but a true friend is closer
than your own family.

AMP

Proverbs 27
10 Better is a neighbor who is near [in spirit] than a brother who is far off [in heart].

Blondie

Pathofthorns

Maybe our situations are not so different. I am not DFed either but shunned just the same. But like you say, there are friends that have become like family and I am grateful for them. I just am at a loss as to how to view my real family. I don't think of them too often, but when I do it just makes me bitter and angry because it is so wrong.

Path

Big Tex

Blondie

Interesting cartoon. I think it says more than it means to. How many times have the Witnesses shunned family and then if confronted about it by the public at large, have denied it? They don't want "outsiders" to know how callous they really are. They don't want people to know they really believe in a God that is exclusive, not inclusive. Jesus, whether you believe in him or not, taught about including people not excluding. He was especially interested in those at the bottom of society. This is what the Witnesses believe or practice. They do not allow for forgiveness. They are vengeful and judgmental. They do not want to help. They want to hurt.

Maybe our situations are not so different. I am not DFed either but shunned just the same. But like you say, there are friends that have become like family and I am grateful for them. I just am at a loss as to how to view my real family.

Me too. I haven't spoken with my family in almost 11 years. We have some very close friends who have replaced my family. My children have a plethora of aunts and uncles that they really do view as family. But it is hard. I've been where you're at right now and I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling. It is not deserved. You seem to me like a warm and decent person and in reality I think you're too good for your family. All I can advise is time. With me the bitterness and anger subsided over the years. Unfortunately the pain only shrinks; it doesn't really go away. The good news is every year it hurts less, but I suspect I will carry it with me until the day I die. The funny thing is I kind of view it now as a battle scar, so it's part of who I am. Take care and Merry Christmas Path.

Chris

Pathofthorns

Thanks for the kind comments guys. Christmas was spent with one of my "adoptive" families and their relatives and it was really nice. While there is much that is dark about human nature, there is also much kindness and goodness that is easy to overlook.

Path

Who Deserves a Family-Hating Award?

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