I was in bed watching the telly this morning (What, I hear you ask, not at the meeting? No actually) and the prog was "The world at war" on the splendid BBC2 - this is quality TV for all you americans that don't have quality TV and have to wait for ours to air over there - and this German was saying that he was present at the rallies where Hitler was giving his speeches and that he looked around at everyone, their faces and apparent joy and ferver. He said he listened to the speeches and understood the words but could not believe them. He said how he wished he could have been immersed in it all like those around him, joining in in the 'joy' and feel the the way those around him did. But he couldn't, and to some extent he envied those present.
This took me back to the first assembly when I felt like that and how it percolated down through to the meetings where I would sit and think just those thoughts and wish that I was the same. It is a strange feeling, like singing a different tune to everyone else but only you can hear the difference. Ah well, lifes a bitch and then you die.