After just over a year on ex-jw boards I hope that we all are able to step back for a while and gain a better view of where we individually are in our lives. The more involved I get- the more frequent my visits are here the harder it is to keep things in balance and in perspective. It reminds me of the constant meetings, bible (JW LIT) studies and field service while a JW. So wrapped up in the issues- so close to the issues with such emotional ties to things that were once the very center of our lives I believe keeps us from getting beyond and recovering. Just like the JWs who feel that they have the only truth and all others are lost, our perspective toward the WT is the only perspective in our eyes and we must expend great energies to warn all of this eivil empire just as the jw's warn of satans evil empire. Each bit of news media that gets out to the public becomes international news to the ex-jw. Our expectations get unreasonable. We are centered on these topics and it becomes easy to lose site that these topics are minor to the average public. The average joe never heard of silent lambs, bill bowen and know little of shunning. At the most they recognize jw's as those that knock on thier doors too early in the morning and refuse blood "or something like that". as another person posted so well here- we each need our own personal support system. If our lives are spent feeding on a past negatives in our lives we never move on- we are forever controlled by our past.
We can never get over or beyond a past relationship if we compare all future relationships to that one.
JWs held us captive because we were unbalanced and we had a fear of man. We allowed ourselves to accept things that most of us never felt quite good about. We bought into the teachings that this is gods representative on earth. And we lived in fear of what would happen to us if we did not hold true to the org. I am in no way defending the WT. I am only accepting my part of the responsibility- the part where I made choices. The part where I participated in the actions of the WT and supported the empire.
Having accepted that I feel that I can better take a balanced look at the WT and my life and move on. I spent the better part of my life allienated from the world as a jw. What a shame if I spent the ramainder of my life focused on them- though from the other side of the street.
I have watched many tapes produced by ex-jws and visited many web sites "exposing" the WT. I was so disheartened that so many were full of negatisms, sarcasms and stories that I knew to be embelished with gross exagerations. Ray Franz's books were a welcome media to the likes of me because of the lack of all the above in his writings.
After our experiences in the WT one would think that we of all people would be the most compassionate and understanding of all. We of all should never want to give out the treatment that we received from the WT. But in so many ways we never tire of lashing out at every opportunity we can find.
In no small way this is what has continued to cause damage to the reputation of Bowen. No one of good heart would fault another for speaking out against wrong conduct. But when the words being used prove as harmful to others as the wrong conduct they are seeking to expose all good is lost.
On msnbc last night a news story was told of a detective in the state of Washington. His fervor against pediphiles made him lose all sense of balance and reasonableness. In a small town his actions cost the careers of several innocent people. On the word of a couple of wayward teen girls that he adopted he charged and locked up some 50 or so people. If the girls stories were accpeted one would have to believe that this whole town was populated by pediphiles. From the minister, the teacher, the neighbor, the therapist and on down the road- one girl road with him in his car and pointed to 50 houses in one day where she supposedly had been molested. So wrapped up in this case and so full of disgust was this detective that he lost his balance- WE MUST GET THE PEDIPHILE and expose the people of this town! Though all cases were eventually dropped or overturned and the detective no longer is employed by the police department many lives were damaged. Careers losts.
I hope that all bona fide pediphiles are caught and locked up! I equally hope that balance is kept and the credibility of the accuser as well as the accused is weighed well before stinging public statements ruin more lives. If bill bowens words are taken at face value one would believe that the WT is populated with pediphiles and are flocking to this "pediphile paradise". Though their 2- witness rule provides a loophole for such cases within the org one would be hard pressed to prove that this rule was invented to protect pediphiles. The problem of the WT is much more deep rooted than a pediphile issue. The crisis in the catholic church may well force all major religions to change internal policy- but I doubt a stuffed lamb will. The changes need to spread much further than within the WT. Every week pediphiles are in the news. Teachers, coaches, ministers from all religions and parents.
So for the year appoaching my thoughts are with all ex-jws and my hopes that they can further escape the clutches of the WT. We, ex-jws, are all abuse survivors.