Thanks for sharing your experiences and ideas about how people leave. Themes were that people leave when they are ready, when they take an honest look at their beliefs and open their mind up to information from outside of the organisation, and I guess, other personal factors. The timing and individual are important here. I guess here is the value of making quality written material accessible as can be found on the internet.
I guess in talking with JWs maybe the most to hope for, particularly since I don't know where they are privately in their commitment, might be to plant seeds. Someone suggested to be patient and subtle. That makes a lot of sense. Forcing views fosters defensiveness and further entrenching in one's views.
I consider myself an ecclectic counsellor. I do more supervisory/admin/training work these days but still have the opportunies to keep my counselling practice up. I have been trained in at least 6 different therapeutic models and my approach is to adopt the model most appropriate for the individual. As my counselling is predominantly single-session counselling, I tend mostly to use a brief cognitive behavioural / solution oriented model.
As far as change in counselling goes, there is a model of change, particularly useful for addictions. It goes something like this, precontemplative (I don't have a problem), contemplative (maybe I got a problem), action (I have a problem and I will work on it), maintainence (I will keep doing what is needed and watch out for relapse), and then relapse (returning to former problem behaviour). It is suggested to evaluate where people are on this change and adjust the counselling interventions accordingly. In the first two stages the counsellor seeks to raise awareness / anxiety, explore benefits and not-so good elements of problem behaviour, tap into hopes, build confidence and build importance for change. In the others he focuses more on action. I think JWs are in various degrees of this change process, so our outreach efforts should be adapted accordingly.
Someone raised the point that you cannot help a person change who is not motivated to or is mandated. I don't believe this. A counsellor can people explore what they really want, what blocks them from what they want, the parts of them that are okay about their behaviour and the parts of them that are not okay with it, how they can get what they want (happiness, security, love, power) without the negative consequences of their dysfunctional behaviour. A drug addict wants to feel good, or not feel bad, so he engages in his drug taking behaviour. It works in the short term but often in the long term undermines these goals. Counsellors help people want to change, and then try to assist them to change. They try to do this respectfully rather than manipulatively. They attempt to value the hopes of the client, not impose their own goals on them. We display empathy, not criticism. They try to get the client to examine their behaviour to see if that if it is really getting them what they want. If we try to impose our values on them, disrespect the JW, or try to manipulate them, we are not being respectful and we can expect resistance. We are no better than the WT. Maybe adapting the counselling values to this context might be useful.
What motivates the JW? A desire for divine acceptance? Social acceptance? Fear of loosing loved ones. Fear of being classed as 'bad' (shame avoidance). Or stated positively needing security? Needing acceptance? Wanting comfort or ease (someone to do the thinking for them)? I don't know. Maybe exploring what motivates the JW lies a key to helping them want to change.
BTW I live in Brisbane, Australia. I notice Ed also lives there. Who knows, we might be neighbours!
These are just some of my rambling ideas. Maybe others might build off them.
Regards
Nathan